A Group Apart
by AMightierPen
Summary: Dana was fine by herself until she became friends with Ponyboy, and he introduced her to a world on the outside she never knew, and a dangerous boy named Dallas she never trusted.
1. First Impressions

_**This baby was busy collecting dust, so I figured she might as well get read.**_

* * *

I guess it's kind of ironic. I go to the movies to be alone, to get away kind of. So I guess it is kind of ironic that that's where I met him.

He was alone too, that's probably what really started us off: it was something we both had in common. I suppose I like the feeling of being in a crowded and thinking about all the people in it.

From a dark room you can really see people, in my opinion. You see what they wouldn't do when the lights are on, when everyone else can see them. I see guys stare at their girlfriends for half second longer, I see guys stare at other girls while their girlfriends are watching the movie. And I saw him too, he was sitting there enjoying the movie. He had this look on his face that made me think he was contemplating things, maybe that's why he liked going to movies. The move itself was kind of stupid, just some new actor running around with girls and guns. But the actor was cute, so it wasn't half bad.

Since it was a dark room and all, I wasn't really feeling myself. I went over and sat next to him. He kind of turned my way and smiled, "Hey." I smiled "I'm Dana."

"Hey, I'm Ponyboy." He said, a little surprised that I was talking to him.

I was too, honestly. He seemed polite enough to at least pretend that it was normal. I tried to hide my surprise, but he could tell and smiled again. "Yeah, that's really my name, says so on my birth certificate."

Interesting. "Well it sets you apart, doesn't it?" I said.

"Yeah, I guess it does." He replied Then he kind of stopped and said, "Not to be rude, but why are you talking to me?"

"Well you were alone and I was alone so I figured we could be alone together."

"I meant, well, you're a Soc and I'm obviously not, ain't you scared of me or somethin'?"

"I don't really consider myself a 'Soc', thank you very much. And yes, I can tell you're a greaser but I don't really care right now. And I'm not scared of you."

"How come?"

"You've got nice eyes."

He smiled sheepishly, "Well I can have nice eyes but still be a bad guy."

I thought this over, "True, but I don't think you are. Most greasers travel together, don't you?"

He nodded, "Yeah, but I just like goin' to the movies by myself."

"Can I ask why?"

"I don't like going with other people, it's like having someone read over your shoulder, ya dig?"

"Yeah I get what you mean. But this movie ain't so great, you wanna ditch?"

He looked at the screen for a moment, deciding. Then he stood up, "Why not?"

I smiled, "Let's go."

* * *

We got talking about a bunch of stuff, he told me about his gang and I told him about my friends. He said he and the gang were like brothers, I said I couldn't really relate well with all my friends, everyone just seemed so fake to me.

Only when I asked him about his parents did he get quiet, then he told me in a whisper, "They died." I stopped, "Oh, I'm sorry, it's hard, I know."

He looked up, wondering. "Do you?"

I thought about it, "Well I know it's always hard to lose someone."

"Yeah, it is." He said, trying to stay unemotional.

I realized we had walked a couple of blocks, not even noticing it. He sure was a nice guy.

Then I hear a voice across the street go, "Hey Pony! Got yourself a girl?" I turned to see Dallas Winston.

He was this greaser who's gotten arrested so many times he's a regular at the jail. He steals stuff all the time, and doesn't care who from. He was trouble, and he was walking over to us, smiling cockily. I looked over at Ponyboy, who had turned sort of red and was looking down at the ground.

Dallas came over and said, "Hey baby, I'm Dallas, nice to meet you." He said with a arrogance in his voice. He smiled and winked at me. "Got yourself a girl, huh, Pony?"

"Just a friend, Dally." Ponyboy mumbled.

Dallas laughed to himself, "So she's available for me huh? Well then, girl, I think we'll get along just fine."

I rolled my eyes and looked away, praying for this moment to end. Then I heard another voice, "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

I saw this older, muscular (well, they all pretty big, but this guy was bulging) greaser walking over towards us. When he reached us, he looked me over and looked at Dallas, "You're not bothering this girl here, are you?" This guy was obviously the leader.

Dallas pretended to be offended, "What, me? Naw man."

Then the guy turned to me, "Is Dally here bothering you?"

I mumbled, "No."

Ponyboy then spoke up, "She was at the movies with me and I'm walking her home now, she lives on the other side of town."

"Yeah, alright, be home soon though Pony, you got homework." The tall guy said.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." The tall guy walked away and Dallas took out a cigarette and lit up.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"My older brother, Darry." Ponyboy answered.

Dallas took a drag and said, "I'm headin' out, you know where to find me."

"Oh, ok. Well I probably should be getting home now, I have plans." I told Ponyboy, remembering.

So Ponyboy walked me home, where I thanked him and said I hoped I would see him around sometime soon. "Yeah, me too." He said smiling.

* * *

I usually have plans every night; if I don't, I make them. My house just isn't one you spend a lot of time at. My mom hates me, she just does. My dad...he drinks a lot. Every night. Every night he's drunk and yelling. He beats mom and I sometimes, but neither of us say anything about it. She acts like everything's fine, so I have no one to run to. I just take it every night.

I have scars, but they aren't too noticeable. People started asking though, when I showed up at school with a fresh cut on my collarbone. It's mostly cleared up by now, that was a while ago. Now it's just a thin white line, you can only really see it at an angle. The other scars are like that too, thin white lines.

Most people don't notice though, they never look close enough. I do have some on my face, tiny lines darting across my cheeks. They're easily covered up though, with a little make up. So no one knows, I'm used to it by now though. The nights that I do stay home are the nights I get scarred, unless I get lucky and dad isn't too drunk. Sometimes he just yells at me. Those nights are better.

Later on, Bill came over and picked me up. He was taking me to the Nightly Double. As we pulled away in his red Mustang, I saw he brought beer in his backseat. "What's all that in the back?" I asked. He smiled with his arm around me, "Well thought we could drink up baby, have some fun." I frowned. Getting drunk is not my idea of fun, but I've got a role to play.

We got to the drive-in movies alright, and parked our car. I knew the only reason he wanted to go here was to make out in the car. See, he and I have different views on dark rooms. I like to study people and he likes to fool around with girls. He's can be a nice guy though, sometimes, so I tolerated him. About five minutes into the movie, he starts moving in on me. He starts whispering in my ear and kissing my neck and stuff. I play along, smiling.

We start making out a little, when I feel his hand climbing up my skirt, "Come on baby, let's have a little fun here."

At first I play along, until he starts getting too into it. I start to push him off me, but he resists. I can tell he's getting mad, but pretends he isn't.

That's when I have to say, "Bill, get off me!"

I look into his eyes and see nothing, he's just not there. That's when I knew he had been drinking or something before he came here, he had lost his eyes. I knew how people got angry easier when they were drunk, all too well I knew.

So I tried to cautiously push him away. Then, against my might, he pushes his whole body on me, running his hands all over and kissing my neck and face. I try to push him off unsuccessfully, that's when he really starts getting mad at me.

He slams my head down on the side of the door, "Now you listen to me girl, you do as I say, and I say shut up."

I wrestle my pain with an "Unght!"

Then he grabs my wrists and squeezes so hard I feel like I'm gonna lose my circulation, then he releases them and puts his hand on my waist. He grabs as hard as he can, practically squeezing the breath out of me, he slams my head again. I yelp in pain as my head yet again hits the car door. Suddenly I feel him being pulled off of me. I watch in awe as none other than Dallas Winston starts punching the life out of him. Once he's knocked out, Dallas comes over to me, and helps me out of the car.

"He hurt you too bad?" He asks.

"I think I'm okay."

"You sure don't look like it."

I give him a look.

"I mean your heads bleeding."

"Oh." I hadn't noticed.

He helps me out of the car, almost pretending he hadn't just seen me like that with another guy. Almost, because I can see the way he's looking at me. I seemed like the loose girl, the one who guys always call up.

So what was I doing hanging around with Ponyboy, the kind, thoughtful guy? Dallas Winston couldn't figure me out, but he pretended like he knew me all too well. To be honest, I didn't know what to think of him either. He seemed all tough and scary and then here he is, saving the girl who he just met.

Maybe he just wants to get with me, that's the only reason most guys talk to me. I shake these thoughts out of my head and bring myself back to the present. We walk over and sit on the grass on a little hill near the back.

"So how come you saved me?" I asked.

"I don't like guys like him, I beat up guys like him. I don't like guys like him beating girls up, it just ain't right."

"That seems a little out of character for you." I commented.

"Yeah? Well what do you know about me?" He said.

"Probably enough." I answered.

He grunted, then smiled slyly "You probably heard 'bout my record, all true."

I decided not to tell him that my dad was one of those police men, especially that my dad was the sheriff. I bet Dallas and my dad have met on plenty occasions. He leaned back onto the grass, pulling his hands behind his head.

It surprised me to see Dallas Winston acting like he cared about something, much less a person, much less me. Then again, maybe I should stop looking at it as "Dallas Winston this" and maybe start looking at it as a guy, just asking if I'm alright. But he just isn't any other guy, not to me, not to anyone. He _is_ Dallas Winston, and he _is_ asking if I'm alright.

I realized that we had been talking, not particularly about anything, just dabbles at conversation. But it was nice all the same, to be actually talking with Dallas Winston. It felt nice.

"So, really, why'd you help me? I mean, you saw me...with that guy."

He turned his head to face me, "Yeah, I saw you all right."

I blushed a deep red, though he couldn't see because it was so dark out. "What were ya doin' with that Soc?"

"I asked you a question first, but I'll answer anyway. I think you could tell what I was doing with him, but he was drunk as heck. He didn't know what he was doing."

Then I think I knew what Dallas and I were. We weren't anything really, strangers in a way. We didn't like each other or anything, we were just curious. We couldn't figure each other out, so we were curious. Maybe we each said some things we normally wouldn't have, taking a chance. Trying to get a feel of who the other was. I wonder what he thought of me.

He held my wrist, where I'm guessing he saw Bill grab me, and started playing with them. Tracing the lines Bill had made. "These from your boyfriend huh?"

I sighed, "Well I guess he's not really my boyfriend now."

Dallas just kind of stared off in space after that comment, I can't imagine what he was thinking about.


	2. Only One

So, like all nights, this one came to an end. I can't even remember how I got home, and into my bed. Under the sheets I began to think about Dallas, I didn't get him. How can he be so cool and mean and then so, in his way, nice? It would take time to figure him out, I'm almost afraid to see him again. I (had) only met him twice, but I know I'm falling for him.

When I fall for someone, I fall hard. And I'm usually too scared to tell them, so they just end up hurting me more than they realize. Love is a tricky thing, it shouldn't be though. It should be if you love someone and they love you, then you two love each other and that's all there is. No complications or anything like that, just love.

* * *

The next day came, and school had to be attended. As I walked through the school doors, I froze. There, I saw Bill joking around with his friends. I tried to quickly walk past them, not knowing if Bill remembered what had happened at the movies.

"Hey, babe, where are you going to?" Obviously he didn't remember, but I did.

"What do you want Bill?" I asked, annoyed.

"Hey! What's with the ice?" He said, smiling.

His friends behind him kept going "ooooh" and all that stupid stuff.

"Look, Bill, if you're going to be drunk all the time, then we're over." I said, then turned around to walk away.

After a few yards I heard Bill coming up behind me, "Hey, wait! Now what did I do to you?"

I gave him a hard look, "Maybe you'd remember if you weren't so drunk."

"Is that how I got all these bruises here?" He said, mentioning to his face which now had a black eye thanks to Dallas.

"In a way, yes. And I'm sick of you, okay? Just leave me alone."

At that, he just turned away and walked back to his friends.

* * *

After seven painfully long hours, school let out. Instead of driving back home, I decided to procrastinate and drive around town. It wasn't for a few blocks of circling the movie theater until I realized I was looking for someone (maybe two people, actually). Then, as if I had conjured him, Ponyboy walked around the corner, drinking a Pepsi.

"Hey! You wanna ride?" I asked him when he saw me.

"Uh, hey, sure. Thanks." He said, climbing into the seat next to me.

"What are your friends gonna think?" He asked, obviously worried that some Soc boys would jump him later on.

"I don't think they'll see, they're all either at home or getting drunk somewhere." I replied sorely.

"Something happen today?" He asked, picking up on my bitterness.

"Not much, I guess. Broke up with Bill, boy, was he sore about it." I said passively.

"Was that you're boyfriend?" He asked.

I looked surprised, "Yeah, didn't Dallas tell you?" I asked.

Now he looked surprised, "Why would Dally tell me about your boyfriend?"

"Oh, um nothing, never mind." Why hadn't Dallas told him?

"Alright, I'll just forget that."

"So what's Dallas like? I mean, he just seems so...I don't know." I asked, hoping to get some insight.

"I don't really know about ol' Dally, he's been on the streets since he was a kid, got arrested when he was ten." Ponyboy said passively.

"What! For what? How does a ten year old kid get arrested?" I asked, shocked.

"Well this is Dally we're talking about, he's not just some other kid, right?" Ponyboy chuckled.

I laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure he's never really been normal."

"You got that right." Ponyboy muttered, I caught a hint of bitterness in his voice.

So then I began to get curious about Ponyboy and his whole gang, "So, Ponyboy, what's you're story?"

He looked at me and said, "You really wanna know?"

"Then, after my parents died, Darry kinda took over. He's tryin' to raise me and Sodapop, working all the time and all that stuff. He doesn't like me much though, always yelling at me and stuff." Ponyboy explained.

For about the last half hour, he had been trying to tell Dana about everything that had happened in his life.

"How can he hate you if he's pretty much put his life on hold to care for you?" I asked.

"He just does, okay?" Ponyboy snapped.

"Alright, I get it. What about Sodapop, what's he like?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, I like him better than Darry. He's always smiling and joking around. All the girls in town like him though, but he's got a girl so he don't really notice." Ponyboy said.

"Sounds like a cool guy." I had heard briefly about Sodapop, the hunky greaser who worked at the gas station.

"Yeah, he is."

"So what about the rest of the guys?"

"Well, Soda's best friend, Steve, works with him. Honestly, I don't like Steve much, I don't know what it is about him, but I just don't like him. And then there's Two-Bit. I guess you can tell from his name what he's like, always cracking jokes and stuff. Then there's..well, there's Johnny..." He trailed off.

"What's Johnny like?" I asked, sensing something was wrong.

"Well, if you don't mention it to no one, alright?" Ponyboy asked, turning to face me.

"I won't." I promised.

"Ok, well, Johnny is kind of a sad kid."

Ponyboy began. "His parents beat him a lot. A few months ago, he got really badly jumped by some Socs. Kid looked like he was dying when we found him. He's been really jumpy since that, don't ever try to scare him 'cause he freaks out all right."

"That's real sad, if I knew any of those guys, I'm real sorry. I know no one deserves that. I don't know why they do that."

"Yeah, neither do I." The bitterness returned to his voice.

We were silent for a few minutes, contemplating our unsaid thoughts.

"Hey, Dana?" Ponyboy finally asks, turning to me.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"You kind of like Dally, don't you?"

I turned red, "I barely know him, how can I?"

"Look, I can tell, you like him a lot. Just be careful, ok? He usually doesn't care about a lot of things and he'll probably just hurt you."

"How do you know I'll get hurt?" I ask.

"Well, he doesn't love, he just doesn't feel things. So how can he ever love you?"

Now I was really angry, why would you say that to someone?

"Don't you say that now, Ponyboy. I need to be loved, and I ain't just saying that. Nobody, nobody has ever loved me. I've never had someone say to me 'I Love You'. And do you know what? _That _hurts. I've been hurt so bad too many times to be hurt by ol' Dallas Winston, he could never hurt me. Not even my own parents love me, my mom's convinced I'm nothing and my dad just gets drunk all the time and yells at me. There's only so much hurt a person can take, and I've taken it all. So don't tell me someone won't love me, 'cause I need some hope right now. I deserve to be loved, ok?" I burst out.

The moment the words escaped my lips, I froze. Did I want to tell him that much? I hate the idea of someone pitying me.

He just stopped and look at me. "I didn't know."

I sighed and turned back to the road, "Yeah, well, nobody does. You're the only one I've told."

"Look, your dad doesn't hurt you now, does he?" Ponyboy asked protectively.

I paused. "Not too bad...he'd have to be really mad and drunk to really do something."

I sugarcoated it a little, I admit. I don't want to have him feel bad for me by going into some rant about how my dad beats me almost every night. Besides, I'm used to it by now.

"Look, next time he's like that, just come over to my place alright? You shouldn't have to live with that."

"No one does, especially that Johnny kid, he sounds like he'd be real sweet."

"You know, you're kind of like him, only different. He can't take things the way you can, you can just push them aside and hold back your feelings. He can't do that."

"It's not that I like to hold back, it's just that I have to." I admitted.

"I guess so."

"So do you need to get home now?" I asked.

His face suddenly lit up, "Oh gosh, what time is it? Darry's gonna kill me."

"It's about 9:40."

"Oh jeez, ok well thanks a lot for the ride, it's been fun. My house is a few blocks away."

He gave me the directions and I pulled up to a run down, small house.

He looked at me and said, "It's not much, but it's what we've got."

"Hey, it's not so bad, it looks like you've got people you love in there. I'd take that over my house, big and empty."

He his face hinted a smile, liking this new thought. "You can come here any time, remember that. Look, I would be careful driving this car around here, drive home fast if you know what I mean."

"Thanks a lot Ponyboy, for everything. I'll see you around." I smiled.

"Yeah, see ya around." He smiled and turned, walking in towards his house.

I drove my car quickly out of there, driving home reluctantly and once in my house, I ran up to my room and locked my door. From there, I could here my drunk father yelling at my mom, neither of them had even noticed I'd left. I slid down onto the floor and sobbed.

* * *

"Hey Pony, where have you been? This is a school night." Darry yells at me.

"Look, my friend have me a ride, ok?"

"What friends do you have that drive cars like that, huh?"

I look around, and see Sodapop sitting at the dinner table and Dally sitting on the couch with Johnny. All of them were listening.

"She's this girl I met, the one you thought I was botherin'." I said sourly.

I looked at Dally and studied his face as he thought this over. I couldn't tell what he thought of her.

* * *

Eventually, I stopped crying. I changed into my pajamas, and crawled into bed, where I dreamed of Dally and I.

So the week went by, and I didn't see Ponyboy or Dally walking around much. Dad was still getting drunk, still getting violet. Some nights I got away though, and just didn't go home at all. Those night's I'd waste time hanging around town, or sleeping at a friend's house. One saturday morning I got bored and decided to get out of my house. I didn't have any plan on where I was going, I just wanted to walk, get away. Dad was sleeping off a hangover and mom was acting like everything was okay, like he hadn't beaten either of us the night before.

I looked up a few blocks over and saw Dallas, walking around with some other guys, smoking. I went inside the nearest store to avoid them, which turned out to be a magazine store. I began to pretend to look at fashion magazines when they strolled by, thankfully not noticing me. I gladly walked outside and continued on, thinking about not trying to think about Dallas. I ran into some girlfriends, who honestly aren't really friends, and we decided to go to Jay's, a restaurant, and meet up with the guys.

Once there, we found the guys and sat down with them. This one guy, Chris, started making some moves on me. Since I was with everyone, I played along. When all the guys had finished eating, we all went outside on the sidewalks. By then Chris had his arm around me and was talking cockily with some guys. Bill was there, but he and I were avoiding each other heavily.

We walked around the corner and, to my horror, saw Dallas and his gang, leaning against the building and smoking.

"Hey greasers! Why don't you go back up to your side of town!" Chris yelled at them.

I stopped, "Chris, stop that." He ignored me.

By then Dallas and his gang had kind of assembled and looked ready for a fight, even though they knew there wasn't gonna be one with all the girls here.

Dallas walked up to one of them, "Look, buddy, you might wanna watch what you're sayin'." He said.

One of our guys said, "Yeah, what're you gonna do, get you're grease on us?" Everyone laughed. I turned away, hoping he wouldn't see me.

Then Dallas reached into his pocket and pulled out his switchblade, shoving it in the guys face. "I won't do anything here, but you best watch your back."

You could tell he had the guy scared. "Alright, man, you best know where you greasers belong." The guy from my group said.

We were done here, and began to walk away. I turned around to look at Dally, he turned and saw me, with Chris' arm around me. Dallas turned, but before he did, his cold eyes met mine. I froze, sinking in shame, and watched as he walked back over to his friends.

I hung my head in embarrassment.

Then I turned to my group and said, "Hey, guys I gotta run."

"What for?" Chris asked.

"Um, my parents want me home by now; homework and stuff. " I said quickly.

"Aw, you can skip that. Wouldn't you rather hang out with me?" He asked flirtatiously.

I smiled, "I really gotta head out, I'll see ya later."

He smiled, "I'll see ya around girl."

I grimaced a little, and ducked out from his embrace. I began to walk home. I took the way around from where Dally and them were.


	3. Take It

School wasn't much fun the next day. Chris kept flirting with me and all, which got a little annoying. But, being me, I kept playing along. I felt relieved when the final bell rang, I practically ran to my car. Only did I slow down when I realized that the only place I had to go was home.

Eventually, my car reluctantly pulled into the driveway. I quietly entered the house and found that good old dad was drunk again. He was drinking up a storm, and I knew it would be a hard night. So I went upstairs quickly and locked myself in my room and did my homework. An hour or two later, he had finished yelling at my mom and started banging on my door. I could tell tonight he could really hurt somebody so I pushed against the door, trying to stop him from coming inside. I could hear my mom half-sobbing in the other room, he had hurt her.

* * *

"Dad! Leave me alone!" I cried.

"Open the door goddamn it!" He yelled, banging it again.

This time he actually broke down my door, and I fell down. I got up and tried to get out, where he stopped me. "Look, here now girl, you listen to ME!" He yelled, then slapped me hard across the face.

He shoved me against the wall and got all in my face, "DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT ME!"

And he hit me again. Then he shoved me to the floor, and started kicking me until I couldn't breathe. I tried to get up, but felt too weak. Every time I tried, his kicking got harder. I scanned for something to grab and found the empty beer bottle he had dropped, and I smashed it against his leg. He howled in pain and grabbed a glass shard. He slashed it across my cheek, where it stung. I felt blood dripping down my face. He took the glass and dragged a deep gash into my thigh, I cried out in pain. I was sobbing as he hit me again and shoved me down. This time I used all of my energy to get up, he stumbled forward, trying to attack me again.

Somehow, something inside me went off and I ran out of the room. I couldn't feel the pain as I sprinted to my car. After sitting down and speeding out of my driveway, only then did the pain catch up to me. I sobbed and shook as I rapidly drove. The night was so cold. My leg was bleeding hard through my skirt and I could feel the cut on my face dripping. Soon my vision was blurred from the hot tears escaping rapidly from my eyes and I pulled over to the side of the road. There, I collapsed; everything sunk in.

My tears couldn't come fast enough, and they poured down my face. I didn't bother to wipe them away, knowing more would come. A large lump formed in my throat and soon I couldn't breathe. There I was, in a car on the side of the road surrounded by darkness and choking and sobbing. Just thinking about it made me cry even harder. Everything hurt, and it was freezing outside. I began shaking, which made everything hurt even more.

I didn't know where to go until suddenly I remembered Ponyboy saying, "Look, next time he's like that, just come over to my place alright? You shouldn't have to live with that."

I cried when I knew; I shouldn't have to live with this. I drove as quickly as I could to his house, somehow remembering the directions.

Ponyboy was sitting on the curb outside, it was well dark outside but I could make out the outline of him smoking. He looked up when he saw me, I must have been a mess. I looked down at myself and realized just how bad I was: my white shirt was bloodied and I had bruises running up and down my arms. I could only imagine how my face looked, scratched, bloodied, and my eyes red from crying. He ran over to me as I stopped my car.

"What happened?" Ponyboy asked frantically. His wide eyes scanned my body, taking in my condition.

"My dad." I barely whispered.

That's all that needed to be said. As I shakily got out of the car he ran to me and helped me out. His eyes got all wide in shock as he saw more of the damage on my body.

"Come on inside, I think Darry and Soda can help you out." He said shakily, seemingly shocked by my condition.

I hated having this kind of attention, but I really needed help. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't alone. It almost made everything that had happened worth it, at least now I had someone to turn to.

"Are you sure they won't mind?" I asked, as I had never even met Ponyboy's brothers.

"Dana, do you think I'm going to let you just sit around with you bleeding like that?" He helped me inside; it hurt to walk, I was sore all over.

His brothers, who had been lounging around, immediately looked up and ran over to me. "Is this your friend?" "What happened" "Did somebody jump her?" Were the questions fired up at once.

I looked at Ponyboy, silently begging him not to tell them about my dad. "She just got hurt, alright? Help me out here." He said roughly.

First off, they took a look at the gash on my leg. My face turned white when I saw how deep it was, there was still blood coming from it too. Darry got an old T-shirt and wrapped it around my leg.

"This looks pretty bad, you should get this checked out." He told me.

Then they gave me some ice, though I didn't know where to put it first; everything hurt. Ponyboy helped me into his room, where he let me sit on his bed and rest. It was silent for a little while I let my aching body heal.

"Is it always like this?" He asked me softly.

"No, not always." I said quietly back.

"I don't like seein' you hurt." He said, flashing his deep eyes unto mine.

His gaze was interrupted when suddenly their front door opened and a burst of laughter and talking entered the once silent house.

Ponyboy mumbled, "All the guys are here." My eyes got wide and he quickly said "I won't leave you, I promise, they won't come over here."

I smiled weakly and winced slightly from the pain, my face still hurt. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly.

I shrugged, "I'll be fine. I just really don't wanna go home right now."

"You don't have to. You can stay here as long as you need."

I looked up at him, "Thanks Ponyboy, you sure know what to say."

"Here, lemme look at your face." He meant the cut. I turned my head and let him stroke it with his thumb, "It'll probably scar, I've seen deeper cuts." He said after analyzing it.

It was then that something clicked with me: Ponyboy was a greaser. He had gotten in fights before and so had his brothers. They've seen people beaten before, they've been beaten before, and they've beaten people before. It was a little scary to me.

"How could your father do that to you?" He asked angrily.

"I just don't know, I wish I knew what went on in his head." I shifted myself to sit up more, when a gasp of pain escaped me, my leg killed when I moved.

He was next to me in a flash, "You okay? What's wrong?"

I cringed, "My leg just hurts moving, that's all. I'll be fine."

He shook his head, "See what I mean, you're always holdin' back. You show up at my doorstep crying and bleeding and you still try to act like everything's okay. It's just not."

I knew it wasn't okay, it had never been okay, but sometimes it felt better just to say it was anyway. "I just can't be weak, it's like giving in for me." I admitted.

He held my hand delicately and said softly, "It's not."

I looked up at him and our eyes met. For one brief moment, we saw each other.

The moment ended when I heard a familiar voice and footsteps coming down the hall, "Hey Pony, ya there kid?" Dally burst through the door, his confident smile faded when he saw me. "What's the girl doin' here?" He asked roughly.

I quietly mumbled "Nothing."

Ponyboy stood up, about to say something, when Dallas noticed my condition. He slowly walked over, and looked at Ponyboy. "What the hell happened?"

When Ponyboy didn't answer, looking at me, Dallas turned to me,"What the hell happened to you?" He asked angrily.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Don't pull that, who did this?" Dally asked infuriatingly.

"She doesn't have to tell you." Ponyboy said indignantly.

Dally seemed a little surprised that Ponyboy had talked back to him, he looked like he was about to tell Ponyboy off when a voice came echoing down the hall, "Pony! Come here for a second!" Darry called.

Ponyboy froze, while Dally stood there smirking.

"I'm not leaving her." Pony said boldly.

"I'm here, she'll be fine." Dallas said with a dark smile on his face.

Ponyboy looked at me, I just shrugged and said, "It's okay." What could Dallas do to me anyway?

Ponyboy nodded and left. Dallas was then next to me on the bed, "Who did this? Was it one of my guys?"

I shook my head, "No, it's nothing."

My eyes avoided his, staying focused on the thin blanket I was sitting on. My fingers played with the fabric, which was frayed and worn.

"Don't say that, look at this." Dallas said, looking me over.

Then he saw my leg, and pulled back the bandaging. I tried to stop him, but his grip was strong. When my cuts were exposed, I tried to cover them again, but he stopped me. Dallas looked surprised when he saw the deep cut.

"WHO did this?" He cried, deeply angered.

I covered the gash with my hand, and started to speak. "And don't you say it's fine 'cause no one does that to a girl." He interjected.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, giving in.

I looked at his face and knew he'd never give up. Though I honestly couldn't fathom as to why he cared so intently about this. He seemed like the kind of guy who just floated through life, not feeling anything along the way. I guess there are a lot of things I don't know about Dallas Winston.

"Well that's why I've been asking." He said blankly.

I looked up at him and into his normally hard eyes. Those two dark circles looked back at me.

I saw his mouth move and heard "Who hurt you like this?"

I broke contact and lowered my head, ashamed. His finger caught my chin and lifted my head back up. I didn't want to say it, I really didn't. I knew the moment the words would escape my lips, he would change his opinions about me. I'd go from the Soc to the girl he pitied, and I didn't want that. I don't want anyone to pity me, especially not ol' Dallas Winston. Pity doesn't help anyone. I shut my mouth, regretting even saying anything.

"Come on, you can tell me." He prodded.

If I hadn't known who he was, I almost would've believed him. But he's still who he is, some greaser with a criminal record who I hardly knew. Yet some part of me wanted him to know. He sat down next to me, and put his hands on my arm. I realized he was looking at the bruises and small cuts, with a look of concern on his face. It baffled me. I covered the bruises with my other arm, and he dropped his hands.

"Why won't you tell me? What happened?" He asked.

I looked away, "It's not important." I mumbled.

His annoyance was evident as he spoke, "Don't even pretend like it's not, tell me who did this to you." I just didn't want to talk about it, not as it just happened.

Trying to change the subject, I asked him, "Why do you care anyway?"

He paused, then opened his mouth, "I care because I don't like seein' you hurt, okay? Now I wanna know what the hell happened." His persistence turned to frustration, and he grabbed my wrist, practically begging me.

"My...my...dad." I whispered.

He dropped his hands and almost yelled, "What?!"

I buried my face in my hands and began crying. I felt his finger stroke the cut on my cheek, "How could he do this?" Dallas asked.

His anger seemed to calm when he saw me crying, and I think he understood that I needed comforting.

I sniffled and mumbled, "Drunk."

Ponyboy came back into the room, and saw me crying. He came over to me and asked, "Dally, what did you do?"

Dallas didn't move, instead he stayed next to me. "Hey man, I didn't say nothin'." Dallas said roughly.

"Look, back off, she doesn't have to tell you who did that." Ponyboy said in a commanding voice, something new for him.

"Well she did anyway." Dallas said.

I looked up, suddenly angry "Don't feel sorry for me just 'cause my dad's some drunk, alright? I'm fine on my own."

Dally looked at me and said, "Obviously you're not."

I gave him a hard stare, then had to brake it because I yawned.

Ponyboy turned to me and said "Look, you're probably real tired by now, you can just sleep here."

Suddenly sleep seemed like the best thing in the world, like an easy way out. "Are you sure?" I asked him.

I knew he and Soda shared this bed I could always take the couch. "Yeah, go to sleep." He said.

"Thanks Ponyboy." Both guys got up and made to leave as I laid down, despite the pain. I tried not to let it show on my face, though everything hurt. I guess my shirt came up a little bit, showing my stomach, because Dally made a noise of anger. Ponyboy just looked scared, for some reason. I looked and saw the bruises from my dad's kicking.

"It's fine." I said softly, tugging my shirt back down. Dallas, once again, sat next to me on the bed.

Ponyboy just left, or was already gone. I tried not to look at Dallas, my eyes were full of shame. Suddenly I felt something cold on my warm stomach. It was Dally's hands, feeling my bruises over. I felt shivers run down my spine but I stayed still. His hands felt like ice as they traces the dark circles across my torso. I looked up and he was looking at my stomach with an angry face.

I put my hand on his arm, "I'll be fine, it's not that bad."

"It's bad." He said bitterly.

"It's not like you haven't seen worse." I commented.

"I've seen too much." Dallas said darkly. I could almost see memories flooding back to him, memories he had once tried to forget."But not on a girl, not cuts like this."

"Why does it matter more because I'm a girl?"

"Because guys can take it harder."

"I can take it."

"No, you can't. It's gotta hurt." His hand slipped down to the gash on my thigh, stroking it, as if he could make it better.

"I'm fine." I said again.

He ignored my comment, "What kind of sick bastard does this?" His hand still delicately fondled the large cut on my leg as he spoke in anger.

"My father, apparently. I'll be fine, he gets drunk like this a lot."

Then Dally's hand tightened, I gasped in pain as he squeezed the open gash. He immediately backed off, jerking his hand away in alarm. "Sorry, it's just...this is normal for you?"

"It's not usually this bad." I defended.

"He hurts you like this often?" He asked again, his tone rising.

"I said its not usually this bad." I repeated.

"Not...usually...that's sick. You shouldn't live with that." Dally said, a look of disgust crossing his face.

"I know, but I do." I sighed.

After that we seemed to drift off in our thoughts. I somehow had the feeling that they were, in some way, aligned with each other. I could feel him thinking of me, and I knew I was thinking of him. So he lay down next to me, and we just laid there for a while. Eventually I fell asleep to the feeling of him tracing his finger across my stomach.


	4. Phonies

I woke up to daylight creeping through the window. Ponyboy was sitting there, waiting for me to wake up. I sat up quickly, then slowed at the feeling of my stomach aching. I could almost still feel Dally's cold fingertips on me.

"Hey, you feeling better?" Ponyboy asked.

"Yeah, thanks so much Ponyboy, you don't know how much this means."

He smiled, "It's fine."

I grimaced, "I have to go home now, don't I?"

He shook his head, "You don't have to, you can stay here."

I smiled, "I have to go back eventually. My dad's probably sleeping off his hangover."

"Well, you can hang around until you go."

I grinned, "Alright."

We walked outside, until I realized my clothes were all bloodied. I went over to my car, where in my trunk I had some clothes, they were left there from a sleepover a few nights ago, I hadn't worn them yet.

So I threw on a skirt and sweater in Ponyboy's room, and we went to drive around town. Ponyboy said he was bored of being at his house, and I felt like an annoyance sticking around there. I couldn't help but look for Dallas as we drove; Ponyboy noticed.

"He's probably not here. If he's ever in the neighborhood, he's at my place. He and his parents don't get along so swell." He said blankly.

Then I realized that not once last night Dallas had talked about himself, he never brought up any of his problems or anything like that. He knew me so well and I barely knew him. I wish I had gotten to know him better.

"He's probably out with some guys or something." Ponyboy continued.

I didn't say anything. "You know what Ponyboy? I don't care what you say. I don't care if Dallas loves me or not, it's just nice to love someone, you get it? I don't care if I'm loved back, that's too much to ask. I just wanna love someone, I need some love in my life. So being loved back would be too much for me, I've never been loved back. I'll be ok if he doesn't love me, I just wanna love him."

"How can you know you love him?" Ponyboy asked curiously.

"From the way I feel I'm always thinking about him. From no matter what I'm doing, I wish he was there with me."

"So that's what love's like." He contemplated.

Ponyboy was a dreamer, he liked thoughts like this. I'm sure he'd loved before, like brothers and stuff, but he'd never really figured love out. He always seemed interested whenever it came up.

"For me, anyway."

"Is it nice?"

"It can be."

"Hmm.." He trailed off. I wondered what Ponyboy was of thinking now.

After soft, quiet moments of thought, reality came back to me. "Well, I really should probably get my house now. Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure, ya mind?"

"Not at all."

"Alright, thanks." So we got in my car and I started driving him to the store, he said he wanted a Pepsi. I dropped him off after saying thanks, he smiled knowingly.

I drove off slowly to my house.

* * *

I walked into the store and bought my Pepsi, when I walked out I saw Dally and Two-Bit.

When I came over to them, Dally said "Hey, where's the girl?"

"She went home." I said.

Dally cursed and turned away and I heard him mumble, "Shoot, that ain't home, just some house."

* * *

I got home alright, and my dad was passed out on the living room couch. My mom, as always, acted like everything was fine and fake smiled at me, pretending like her husband didn't just beat me last night and that I didn't just run away. She offered me a cookie, dear God, but it wasn't until then that I realized I was starving. I took it reluctantly and ate it, letting the taste fill my empty stomach. I went upstairs and finished my homework. I had missed school today, but I usually get to miss school after rough nights, when dad starts hurting me. I guess it's the only thing my mom can do. It's the only real decent thing she ever does for me.

I finally looked in the mirror to see the real damage dad had done. The cut on my cheek looked worse than I thought- long and deep; the blood had dried though. Then I pulled back the bandages on my leg and almost fainted, the gash looked so deep and dry blood was everywhere. This would leave an ugly scar, I knew.

The bruises on my stomach looked dark purple, they were sore but they would heal. I went to the hospital to get everything checked out and had to lie that I had tripped down a ditch or something, and that a piece of glass had cut me. That part was true, at least. They wrapped gauze around my leg and put ointment on my cuts. There would be scars, they said, but everything will heal. Good, I thought. I hope the scars stay with me, I hope that every time my father looks at me he sees what he's done. I hope they stay with me for the rest of my life.

The worst part is, I can't tell the police. My dad _is_ the police, and his friends won't believe me. The only people I can tell are the people who can't do anything about it, like Ponyboy and Dally. Sure, they can help me when I'm hurt but they can't stop my dad from drinking, they can't take the bottle out of his hands.

I told Ponyboy no one had ever loved me. It was true, I wasn't trying to ask for love or make a sad story out of it. I was just saying it as a fact, I hope Dally doesn't know. I don't want him to have to love me.

It's kind of an empty feeling, in case you're wondering. Not being loved, yet seeing it all around you. Ponyboy loved his brothers, his brothers loved him. I loved Dally, Dally loved no one. It's hard. I guess that's why when Ponyboy says I can push back my feelings, because I don't feel much. I feel want. I really feel that, but I don't feel a lot I guess. I want to be loved, and I do love, but not the same as if I was being loved back.

Sure, Dallas is nice, when he's alone with me, but he's never been more than that, you know? He's never really known much about me except for my dad and all. He doesn't know I've never been loved, he doesn't know what it's like living the way I do. I guess that's a little selfish, they all live in poverty and here I am complaining about living in a big, empty house. I guess I'll have to think about that next time I talk to them.

School isn't that important to me, sure I can be smart if I want to be, but most of the time I don't want to be. It's happiness I'm really after, not good grades. Of course, for some people, good grades bring happiness. But that's mainly because their parents feel pride in them when they do so; I don't have that. Maybe I would care if my parents did, I don't know. I just- I really just don't like where I am right now. I wish I lived somewhere where everything was just ok, where everybody loved each other and nobody fought; ever.

I thought about Ponyboy, living like he does, how can he still be so sweet? And Dally, living on the streets as a kid. That probably really changed who he is. What would he be like if he had lived in a normal home? He wouldn't be the person he is now, and I have to say I'm kind of glad he is who he is. We all need Dally in our lives, I think. We all need a Ponyboy too, he's just such a good kid. Every time I think about him I just smile, he's just so good. You don't meet a lot of people like Ponyboy in your life, and when you do, you hang on to them.

* * *

Man, that Dana sure does get beat up pretty bad. She seems like the type who thinks. She's a dreamer, I'm sure of it. It's just she never says it out loud, not really. Sure, she tells me about Dally and all that, but she's always holdin' something back. I can tell by the look in her eyes, whenever she's talkin' off 'bout something an' you can tell she's real excited, her eyes get this kinda sparkle in 'em. It's real nice, I gotta say. She's got beautiful eyes, they're the deepest shade of brown. So deep you can't look away.

I walked into my house after hangin' around town smoking and wasting time until Darry finished cooking dinner. The smell of baked chicken reached me and my stomach growled. At my house all the guys were dispersed around our limited furniture. Soda and Steve were playin' poker on the floor, while Two-Bit, Dally and Johnny were all laughin' at somethin' Two-Bit had just said. Darry was puttin' out the plates on the table and stuff.

"Come on guys, ya hungry?" He laughed, because we were always hungry.

Everyone dove for the food, but Darry made sure there was enough for me. We all sat around eating, until Two-Bit started up another one of his stories.

"So I was just walkin' around, ya know? An' these two big ol' guys walk up an' start tryin' to start a fight. So that's when I just pull out my blade and they just freeze man-" He laughed, Two-Bit was sure proud of his blade.

"Ya, an' they just stop cold. Man, they ran so fast I bet they coulda beat ol' Pony here."

Yeah, I'm kinda a fast runner; I'm on the track team. I like running, you don't have to really think much about doin' it.

"Man- if that's what you call a story you outta go to New York." Dallas said roughly.

Dally was raised on the streets there, and grew up seeing violence and stuff. That's why he didn't care about anything, 'cause he'd been raised that way. I looked around the table and saw a bunch of phonies. That's what we all were, phonies.

Just like the ones Holden Caulfield always talked about. Two-Bit, always actin' like everything's some joke. I knew one day somethin'd really hurt him, and he couldn't make any joke on it.

Then there's Darry, acting like he's our dad. He's barely twenty, but he's old. He started aging the day my parents died. Then Soda, always laughing with Steve. Soda liked bein' happy, but I knew there was always pain behind his eyes. Steve just acted like he hated the world, and he was so good at acting that most of the time I believed him. But sometimes I'd catch myself, and remember that he was human too.

Then Johnny, acting like he's one of us, but he ain't. He's a real sad kid, but he's good too. He's got a lotta good in him. Dallas is probably the worst of all, 'cause I can't figure out if he's pretendin' or not. I always wonder if he really is as cold as he acts or if, like Soda, he's just tryin' to hide his pain. Don't know what he'd be sad about, but everyone's got somethin' they ain't sayin'.

I can't say that I'm perfect either, I act all the time, bein' a greaser and all. I am a greaser, but I don't really feel like one. I hear greaser and think dirty and reckless. Not once do I picture the gang, or anyone we know. There's a big difference between what people think of us and who we really are. Thinkin' 'bout it, the same goes for the socs too.

Dana, now there's a phony for you. She's a dreamer alright, but she never purposely/tries acts like one. She's always holdin' back something, just like I suspect Dally of doing. She pretends around her soc friends that she's just like all of them, I bet. And with them soc guys, she's probably someone different around them too. But she's a dreamer all right. (I've got a feeling) We all are.


	5. Whose Fight

After that night, things went back to normal, for the most part. Dad kept drinking and I started just leaving home a lot, taking long walks at night and driving around town alone. I didn't want to bother Ponyboy, he and his brothers seemed real nice to me and I didn't want to intrude on them. So when I would get back home I'd just run up to my room and lock the door, listening to my dad break something or my mom leaving, she had started doing that too. Occasionally my dad would get violent, maybe hit me a few times, but he had no real reason to get that mad at me. I never talked to him, never associated with him. Except at nights, it was as if he didn't exist in my life.

Most nights after school let out I would go over to town and procrastinate going home, maybe getting a soda or watching a movie. I could usually find something to do.

* * *

One day I was walking when I saw Chris and his friends walking around. He came up to me and started flirting again, asking if I wanted to do something sometime.

I smiled and said, "I don't know, I'm kind of busy."

He obviously didn't like rejection so he kept at it, finally convincing me to see a movie right then. He said goodbye to his guys and we walked over to the Nightly Double, it was friday night so the movies were better. He paid for the movie and we sat in the seats for people who walked, like us. He had his arm around me as we were sitting. I turned around, feeling as though people were sitting behind us, and saw Ponyboy, Dallas, and some kid I didn't recognize watching the movie too.

Ponyboy saw me and gave a little wave, knowing I was with a Soc. I gave him a small smile. Dallas didn't notice, he was playing around with his cigarette lighter. I turned back to the movie. A few minutes later I felt Chris moving closer to me. I turned and he started kissing me, I kissed him back, in spite of myself. He and all the other guys kissed the same, like they wanted to get something from you later on. I kissed him though, because I couldn't really think of anything else to do. Soon, though, I felt his hand start to creep up my skirt. That's when I pulled away. You could tell he was mad, but he was patient and waited. A few minutes later, however, he started to make a move on me again. He went in for the kiss, and soon enough, up the skirt.

This time I pulled away and whispered "Slow down, this is barely a first date."

He scowled, but replied "Hey girl, a guy needs his priorities. Ol' Bill said you were pretty loose."

I dropped my mouth, "And you believed him! That's the only reason you asked me on this date isn't it?"

He just shrugged. "Ugh, well, just get out of here because you're not getting anything from me." He gave me a face and got up, I crossed my arms, and he strolled off, trying to keep his cool.

I sighed and turned back to the movie, I figured I might as well watch it. Ok, so maybe Bill had gotten a little action in the back of his car, but that was when he was being a nice guy and all an I figured he wouldn't be such a guy about it. That jerk, what did I ever see in him? Suddenly I turned to see Ponyboy coming to sit next to me, I had forgotten he was there. Oh gosh! That meant Dallas had seen me with Chris! I mean, it's not really that Dally likes me, but we definitely have something going on. I think we have something going on. I hope we have something going on.

"Hey, what was all that about?" Ponyboy asked.

I sighed, "Just some guy, trying to make a move. I told him to stop, but he'd heard I was loose so he got sore and left."

"_Are_ you loose?" Ponyboy asked, then flustered, tried to correct himself. "I mean, you don't seem like the type to go around with all the guys."

"Well, no I'm not, but I mean I've done stuff with my boyfriends, but I don't consider that to be very loose if I'm going out with them." I reasoned. He probably didn't want to know these facts, but I felt reason to defend myself.

"Alright." Ponyboy said, and that was that. Then Ponyboy's friend came down to sit with us too.

"Hi, I'm Johnny." He smiled. I smiled back, remembering what Ponyboy had said, about him being jumped and his parents beating him and all that. I could relate.

"Hey, I'm Dana." So we got talking, and soon enough both of the movies had ended.

We got up to leave, when I turned around I noticed that Dally was gone. "Where did Dallas go?" I asked.

"Oh, he left a while ago." Ponyboy answered.

Neither of us said it, but we both knew Dally left when I started making out with Chris. Whether he left in jealousy, anger, or just boredom, I don't know.

* * *

Ponyboy invited me back to his house, knowing I probably wouldn't want to go home. I agreed, and we walked back to his place. Johnny kept real quiet, I had to always ask him questions to keep him talking. We walked into Ponyboy's place and saw Darry trying to fix their table and Sodapop playing cards with someone. Ponyboy told me it was Steve, Sodapop's best friend.

They were all nice, but the older guys probably didn't get me. Who was I, this girl who got beat up, to be hanging out with their brother so often? They saw that Ponyboy and I were only friends though, you could tell. So I think Johnny went home, reluctantly, and Ponyboy and I started walking around his neighborhood. Normally I wouldn't be walking around a place like this but Ponyboy was one of them so nobody would bother us.

"How come you put up with your dad and all that?" Ponyboy asked after a long silence.

"I don't know, I have to I guess. I'm just used to it by now."

"Oh." He trailed off.

"What are you thinking about?" I wondered.

"Honestly? How someone like you can love someone like Dally." He said. Silence.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, well, you're a real nice girl. You said so yourself, you need to be loved. Then you also said you love Dally. Then you say you know he won't love you back. It's just a little messed up to me."

"Yeah, I guess it is. But when is it ever simple?"

"It should be."

"Yeah, I know." Just then we heard a loud car screeching by, we turned to see it was full of drunk Socs. I gasped, they would hurt Ponyboy. They pulled up to us and got out of the car. I could feel Ponyboy tensing up, reaching for his switchblade. I knew he was only protecting himself, he knew I knew these guys.

They started saying, "Hey there girl, what're you doin' with this trash?"

Then one slurred, "Come on guys, let's take out this trash."

They started walking toward him, I could see them reaching for their pockets, where their switchblades were. I stepped in the way between them. Hypothetically, too, if you think about it. Here I am, some Soc, hanging out with all of these greasers.

I turned to Ponyboy and said, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Run."

At first, he seemed unwilling to back away. Then he looked and saw that if he didn't it would be him against seven older guys. Realizing the odds were against him, he nodded and took off. Just as the other guys were about to go run after him, I stepped in the way, putting on a flirtatious face.

"Look, now boys, if you run off you'll leave me here all on my own."

I could tell by their faces that they were already beginning to forget about the greaser that ran off; I had to keep stalling.

"Well then, why don't you entertain us?" One asked, laughing.

Then one said, "Hey now, we're missing out on a greaser here, let's get him."

Just as they were about to leave I frantically yelled, "Wait!" again.

Then I went up to the one who suggested leaving, and started rubbing across his muscular chest with my hand, making flirty eyes at him.

"Look now, don't leave me alone here. I'll make it worth your while."

It was stupid, I know it, but they can't hurt Ponyboy; they just can't. I looked up at the guy and went in for the kiss, we started making out. I knew then they all had long forgotten about Ponyboy, they were all cheering him on. He started getting really into it and being drunk, his hands got a little excited too, feeling me up just about everywhere. I had to let him too, just long enough so Ponyboy could get away. The kid ran fast, but I knew their car could drive faster.

Then I got an idea, as we were making out , I deceitfully stole the car keys out of his pockets, and when we pulled away I discreetly threw them in the bushes, where they would be too drunk to find them. I smiled to myself, they'll have to walk home. Soon enough he started to try to take off my clothes reaching his hand down to the top hem of my skirt, that's when I had to stop.

I took his hands off me and said, "I gotta go, see ya around." I winked.

I quickly ran down the block and turned the corner, where I saw Ponyboy's jacket lying on the sidewalk, just outside of some woods. I smiled, glad he left me directions to where he was. I grabbed his jacket and ran into the woods. I turned around and saw the drunk guys hadn't followed me, they probably didn't know which direction was which. I ran until I thought I saw Ponyboy standing there, waiting for me. I went up to him and gave him his jacket.

"Thanks for this." I said.

"Hey, thanks for helping me out there." He said.

"I know they can do damage when they're like that."

"What did ya do to stop them?" He asked curiously. I don't blame him for wondering how one girl got rid of seven drunk guys. I didn't blame him, but I still didn't want to tell him. But it was Ponyboy, and you can't help but tell the truth.

I gave him a look, "Gave them something to stop for, how about that?"

He grimaced, "Sorry you had to do that."

I shook it off, "It's fine, you're safe. It's ok." We quickly walked back to his house, I didn't want us to run into the guys again. "Are you sure it's safe for everyone if they're a bunch of drunk Socs running around here?" I ask, worried.

"Naw, we're tough. As long as someone's got a switch, they'll be fine until someone else shows up. Most guys know not to go walkin' 'round alone, even if this is our turf."

"Ok, good." I said as we walked through the door.

We walked in and Darry immediately came up to Ponyboy, "Where've you been? I heard some drunk Socs riding around, you shouldn't be walking out like that, bring one of us with you."

"We ran into them, it's fine." Ponyboy said.

"How'd you fight them off?" Darry asked, his anger lowering.

Ponyboy hesitantly replied, "I didn't. I ran, Dana, uh...distracted them."

Darry's face showed he knew what Ponyboy meant, he turned to me. "Thanks for helping him out but I don't think you should be fooling around with those guys."

I nodded, ashamed. It felt like being scolded from a father, something I've never really known. In a way, I kind of liked being told what to do. Most of the time my parents either beat me, or didn't care where I was and what I was doing.

"Thanks, and I know. I'm not proud of it. It's just I know it was the only thing that would stop them. And don't worry, I hide their car keys, they're stuck walking home." I said, coyly grinning.

Darry smiled, and from the couch I heard Sodapop laughing. That Sodapop sure is gorgeous, I have to admit.

"So where's everybody?" Ponyboy asked.

I got the feeling that their house is where everyone went; a constant in their somewhat bad home lives. "Well, Johnny stopped by a while ago, seemed a little shaken up. He and Dally went out for a smoke. Two-Bit's off somewhere and Steve's with his girl." Soda replied.

"Where'd Dally and Johnny go?" Ponyboy asked.

"How should I know? Boy, Dally looked like something ticked him off." Darry commented.

Ponyboy looked at me, I didn't know what. We went back to Ponyboy's room, where he sat on his and Sodapop's bed, and I sat on the floor. I must have been tired because next thing I knew, I was being woken up off of the floor. I opened my eyes to Sodapop, shaking me awake, smiling.

"Boy, you sure can sleep." He commented lightheartedly.

I smiled groggily and slowly got up. Ponyboy was still asleep. "I should go." I said.

"You don't have to, you know. At least wait until Pony wakes up."

"Oh, alright."

Sodapop smiled and then said, "He'll be up soon, Darry's out an' I gotta go to work. See ya around."

"Okay, thanks." I said as Sodapop left the room. I heard the front door slam a few moments later.

* * *

I sat there for a while, and then decided to go out and sit on the couch. It felt a little weird to be watching Ponyboy while he slept. He looked happy though, peaceful. I curled up on the couch and waited for him to wake up. I was on the verge of falling asleep again when I heard the back door open. I opened my eyes in alarm until I remembered the guys come here all the time. I turned around to see Dally walking through the door, probably looking for Sodapop or Darry. He stopped when he saw me.

I smiled, "Hey."

He gave me a look and coldly said, "Why don't you go back to your Socs."

I was confused as he walked back out the door. I ran after him, calling "Wait, what?"

Fortunately, something stopped him. "What do you want?" He said stiffly, turning to face me. His cold eyes bore onto mine and I paused for a moment, taking them in. He would have looked unfeeling if a glint of hate hadn't given his emotions away. Why did he hate me?

"Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?" I begged him.

"I saw you off with them drunks. Stop fooling around with us greasers if it's some joke."

I stood there in shock, was he still mad about the movies? "I just went with him to the movies because he practically begged me to, I made him leave when he started getting too touchy." I explained.

"I'm not talking about that. I saw you last night; little whore." He spat at me. My eyes blazed in fury at hearing him. "I did it so they wouldn't hurt Ponyboy! Don't you dare call me- that! They were gonna jump Pony; they were gonna hurt him!"

He looked at me, "Even if I did believe your little lie, there're other ways to stop someone."

"Maybe for you guys, you just pull out a switch. For a girl this is all I have. They can't hurt Ponyboy." I finished.

"He can handle himself just fine." Dallas said roughly.

" I don't want them to hurt him, I'm telling the truth." I looked Dallas with a hard stare, begging him to understand.

"They coulda hurt you." He reasoned, accepting my story.

"I can handle myself." I said, pretending that it was true.

"No, you can't." He said softly, his eye changing again. This time they seemed almost kind.

I huffed, "Well, apparently you saw the whole thing. I'd hope that if they did start acting up or something, you would've helped me."

"I would have." He said boldly, looking me in the eyes.

I stopped. "Well...then. I guess I would've been fine then." I said, trying to snap out of our intimate moment.

He kept looking at me, "How's that cut doin'?"

The cut on my cheek was now a long, white scar, protruding a little from my cheek. I put my hand over it. "It's fine."

He put his hand over mine. "It's not." He said, looking it.

I just stood there, looking at his dark eyes as he stared deeply at my scar. I really couldn't figure him out.

Just then I heard Ponyboy yelling throughout his house, "Hey, Dana! Ya there?"

Our moment was broken, I turned and walked inside, "Right here." I called to him.

Dally followed me. Ponyboy looked at us and said blankly, "Oh."

Then he ran over to Dally and started going on, "She didn't really wanna do it, she only made out and stuff so they would leave me alone. She was stalling for time, man, she didn't mean nothing."

Dally stopped him, "Look, man, I know."

"Oh...ok." Ponyboy looked confused; he didn't know what to make of Dallas and I.

Neither did I, really. Dallas and I sat on the couch while Ponyboy made himself breakfast, which seemed like it consisted of chocolate cake.

"I should probably go home." I said to Dally quietly. He put his hand over mine and stopped me,

"No...don't."

"Why not?" I asked.

"You can't go back to that, it just ain't right." He said quietly.

"It may not be right, but it's my life." I said.

It was the truth, no matter how you looked at it.

He sighed, "I wish it wasn't"

This was the first time I'd ever heard some sort of compassion coming from his lips, it interested me.

"Me neither." I whispered.

Just then Ponyboy walked up and said, "Look, I'm gonna go find Johnny. I'll see you guys around."

It was obvious he knew he couldn't be in the same room as both of us, though I couldn't tell why. Probably his distaste for Dallas, which he never said but had implied. Dally and I somehow ended up walking around town, though we probably shouldn't be, considering all of my friends might see. I guess it happened somewhere between me walking home and him trying to stop me.

"So what were you doing last night?" I asked.

He answered as we walked, "I knew Johnny's dad was givin' him a beatin' so I was headin' over to his place, he usually gets out and finds me."

I nodded, remembering when we saw Johnny jump the fence and walk off somewhere. Dallas had been somewhere there the whole time.

Just then Chris and a bunch of Socs walking around the corner. They looked surprised to see me with Dallas and came up over to us, acting tough and all. I felt Dally's arm instinctively go around me, as protection. I kind of liked it.

"Hey, there girl, what're you doin' with this ol' greaser?" Bill asked loudly.

The one I made out with the night before said cockily, "Yeah, givin' him a taste of last night?"

I could have died in shame.

"Back off." Dally said aggressively, I could feel him reaching towards his pocket, where his blade was.

I silently prayed that a fight wouldn't break out. "Watch your back, greaser." Chris said, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, what you doin' with that little slut?" The other one pitched in.

My face turned dark when I heard that.

That's when Dally pulled out his switch, "Don't be talkin' to her like that, ya here? I could cut all your throats before ya'll even got time to shout for the fuzz."

They tried to be cool and not act scared when they said, "Whatever man, we're out." They quickly walked away.

"They shouldn't be treatin' you like that." Dally said as they hurried off.

"Just like you did?" I asked, still mad about what he said.

He looked at me, "Hey, I apologize for that, but I ain't them, you hear."

"Yeah, I know." I admitted.

"Girl, your life sure is messed up." He stated.

"Yeah, well, who's isn't?" I reasoned.

"That's damn true." He said, looking off somewhere.

"What's yours been like so far?" Just then I realized his arm was still around me, it felt nice.

"On the streets, gettin' busted, all that stuff. It ain't been great." He seemed almost ashamed of the past he usually bragged about.

"Toughened you up, hasn't it?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, jail does that to you as a ten year old." He murmured.

"Ponyboy told me." I said softly, looking at the ground.

"Yeah, well, it's true." He said, building back the wall that he had just let down.

I changed the subject and we kept on walking, until I realized I really had better get home. Despite my mom hating me, she got mad when I was late.

As Dally left me at my front sidewalk, he turned to me and said, "Leave your window open tonight."

And then he was gone. I smiled and turned back and walked into my house. My mother greeted me by yelling at how lazy and stupid I was for not calling to say where I was. Dad was out at work. Mom kept yelling until I hushed her up, saying I was at the library studying. I went up to my room to finish all my homework.

An hour later, when that was done I picked up a book and started reading. I took me a while, but I got most of the way through it. I liked Romeo and Juliet, the whole story, two star-crossed lovers and all. It gave me some sort of hope.

Just then I remembered Dally had told me to keep my window open, so I went over and lifted it up. It let in a cool breeze, sending pleasant chills through me. I laid down on my bed and continued reading. I started thinking about Dallas. I wondered, since Romeo died when he saw Juliet lying there, what he would to for me. It sounds selfish, but one can't help but wonder. I quietly got up and locked my door, just in case my parents wanted to come in or something. I really didn't want to put up with them tonight.

I went back to my reading. Soon I heard someone outside my window. I looked and smiled when I saw Dally climbing through the window. I put down my book and propped myself up by my elbows.

"Hey." I said calmly. He smiled and came over to me on the bed, sitting next to me, I turned over onto my back and looked up at him. He just leaned right down and started kissing me. I felt his hands hold my face, keeping me where I was, not that I would ever want to move. It was better than perfect because he was there, and I felt loved. I kissed him back, my hand running through his hair, no matter how grease he had in it.

He kept kissing me until I heard a bang on my door, and my dad's voice yelling "Open the door now girl!" I gasped and opened my eyes.

Dally pulled back and glared at the door. I could feel his grip tightening around my face, itching to pull out his blade. "Don't answer..." He said, gritting his teeth.

Dally spoke too soon, and just moments after my father had broken down the door. He was standing there, swaying a little bit, and holding a beer bottle. I jumped up, but not before Dallas did. He stood protectively in front of me, his arms keeping me back.

"Dad, get out of here." I said cautiously from behind Dally.

"Don't you talk to me like that!" He said, stumbling towards us.

Dally made to push him away or something, but I pulled Dally back. It took a lot of force to move him, but he stumbled back to where I was.

"This isn't your fight." I begged Dally, as anger spread across his face.

"It's my fight as long as you're involved." He said, his hands forming fists in his anger.

"Please, no." I begged him. Before he could respond, my father came at me with his beer bottle.

Neither Dally or I had enough time to react as he smashed it against my head. The sharp pain enveloped me, and I couldn't escape it. I fell to the ground, and onto the shattered glass pieces. I knew better than to yell, and I held in my cries of pain. My father kicked me with all his might, and knocked the wind out of me. Then his strong foot kicked my head with all his might and suddenly everything faded to black.


	6. Thanks

I woke up to the feeling of a finger tracing along my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see Dally's face, looking at me, worried. "He hurt you." Was all he said.

"I'm sorry, I tried to stop him."

"How can you be sorry? You never did anything wrong."

"What happened? Where am I?"

"He hit you, knocked you out. I got up, beat 'im up. Too drunk to fight back, he kinda stumbled off. I picked you up and took you out here."

"Where is here?"

"Just some place." He said vaguely. I looked around, we were on an empty field next to a patch of woods. My head hurt, I groaned and lowered it back into his lap. "Are you okay?" He asked quickly.

"I'm fine, my head hurts a little; that's all." I had forgotten not to show pain around him; he cares so much. It's nice though, something new.

"How...can...you take this? It kills me." I looked up at him, he really looked pained by this.

"'I don't know, I just do. I always have."

He started stroking my face, "You're always getting hurt." He had no idea. "I hate seeing you like this." Dallas continued.

"I kind of hate feeling like this." I said truthfully.

Suddenly I was mad, how dare my father treat me like this! What did I _ever _do to deserve this? I guess I just had to be thankful that it was me, and not someone else.

"Are you okay?" He asked, stroking my hand softly.

"You're here." Everything's perfect, I thought. He leaned down and kissed me again, this time softer; I kissed him back. My eyes opened as we slowly broke apart. The sky behind him looked full of clouds; it looked so dark it could've been night.

"You have to be tired." I said.

He barely smiled, keeping his lips closed, "I'm good."

"Sleep." I said, with a failed authority in my tone.

"I don't wanna sleep, I wanna stay with you." He admitted

So Dallas, the greaser, the tough guy, could feel. This only contributed to my theory of how people work. I think we like to build an exterior, creating some other person than who they are, maybe it's who they wish they were. Some like to be strong, people like Dally, and my dad. The strong people are the weakest on the inside, I've found. My dad is powerless to alcohol, and Dally's touch guy act is an act, but it's a true act. He really is tough and hard core and all that, but there's a soul there somewhere. Beneath every fake smile and empty eyes is a soul, I know it.

"That's what dreaming's for." I told him.

Then I took my head off his lap and laid myself down on the soft grass. He laid down next to me, and put his arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and draped my arm across him. He held on to my wrist with his other arm. I listened to his heart beat as we both drifted off.

I woke up in his arms and smiled. He had woken up too, and started stroking my hair, glancing down at me. I looked up at him. By now it really was night. I could have laid there for the rest of my life and been happy, but eventually we had to get up.

So we slowly sat up, he rubbed his eyes, and said, "You're not going home." I didn't ask questions, I would follow him anywhere.

He and I walked a few miles over to Ponyboy's place. It was probably three in the morning by now. We walked through the front door and everyone looked up at us. We had walked in on all of them in the middle of a game of cards.

Despite the slight awkwardness, Ponyboy just looked up and smiled, "Hey!" He said.

I smiled, "Hey."

We didn't say anything else. Dally left my side to go sit with Steve and them. I went over and sat on an empty chair, not knowing what else to do. Ponyboy finished eating and came over and sat with me.

"You not going home?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Not tonight."

He looked a little relieved. "Come on outside." He said.

Without question, I followed him. We sat up in the grass and looked up at the night sky. It would have been a little cliche but it just wasn't. Sitting there with Ponyboy made the stars seem different. I felt small, lying there. Not unimportant, just small.

"So you and Dally..." He said.

I guess it needed to be said. "I don't know. We just kind of are, I don't know what, but we are." I explained.

I had never given much thought to labels, it hardly seemed appropriate to label what we are.

He nodded, "Okay."

We sat there all night, Ponyboy and I. Normally people look at the stars, and I do too, usually. But tonight I just couldn't take my eyes off of that moon. I always read of authors describing it as "perfect" and "beautiful", but it really wasn't. The moon was flawed. I started thinking about it, and realized that we, people, have a lot in common with that moon up there. We're not perfect and smooth, we have flaws, just like the moon. It's beauty is tainted by the gray craters, making it all bumpy. But if you step back and see the big picture, it's really kind of nice, you know? Maybe we should start stepping back more, and seeing the big picture.

Ponyboy and I watched the sun rise. It was beautiful. Nothing was said, but we both sort of knew what the other was thinking. I knew he was just thinking about things- life in general I guess, and he knew I was just looking, amazed. We both were. The gold faded, though, and dawn left us; it was day now.

I guess I had some sort of epiphany out there, under that sky. I realized I need to stop running away from home-it doesn't make anything better. My mom still has to put up with it, and she doesn't deserve it. I know she hates me and all, but that's only because I've got a part of him in me. She can't look at me without thinking of him. I don't blame her, I can't.

I got up and turned to Ponyboy, "I gotta go home."

He looked confused so I explained myself, "It's just not right there. Something needs to change."

Then I crouched down next to him, "Don't-don't tell Dally, you hear? I can handle myself, I need to fix this on my own." I whispered.

Ponyboy just nodded his head. I turned back towards the house, Dally and Steve were asleep. I got up and ran through the woods behind Ponyboy's house, I ran until I came out onto the sidewalk.

I ran through town as quickly as I could and ran into my house. There, my dad was passed out and my mom was in her room.

I went up to her, she was crying. "Mom, you need to get out of here." I said.

She looked up at me, "Don't talk to me you worthless piece of shit."

I shook my head, "I may be worthless to you, but you need to get out of here. This just isn't right."

She just shook her head and kept on crying.

I went downstairs to my dad, he'd be waking up soon. I looked at the clock and saw it was already 6:00 in the evening, I was surprised at how late it had gotten. Once dad gets up, he'll start drinking again. I don't know what I'll do then, but I'll do something.

I walked upstairs to my room and picked up Romeo and Juliet again. I started crying.

It's never gonna be simple, I realized. They loved each other so easily but they could never really be together, it just wasn't fair. If they can't have it easy, why should I? I can take it, I've been taking it all my life. I was raised to take it. I walked downstairs to see my dad had woken up, he was on his fourth bottle by now. I stood there in the doorway and watched him get drunk. Soon enough he was swaying and yelling. I took in a breath, knowing that tonight things needed to change.

* * *

Dally opened his eyes, it was late evening. He looked around for Dana, but couldn't find her. He went outside and saw Ponyboy, dozing off in the grass.

He shook him and woke him up, "Hey Pony, you seen Dana around?"

Ponyboy looked dazed as he said, "Uh...yeah, man. She went out, she'll be back."

"Well where'd she go?" "I don't know man, just out. She said she'll be back soon, don't worry about it."

Dally felt that something was wrong, he didn't know what. He didn't know what to think, so he decided to just go hang around town with the guys, he knew they'd be there.

* * *

By now dad was yelling. "YOU'RE WORTHLESS TO ME. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, STUPID KID!"

He kept yelling stuff like that at me. I used to believe him, that's when I would run up to my room and cry. But I didn't have Dallas then. I stood strong. He took a couple of hits at me, but I took it.

Then I realized what I had to do, and I ran upstairs. I could hear his heavy footsteps following me, but I kept running. I ran up to my room and locked myself in. I ran to my phone and picked it up, for once I dialed 911.

"My dad's drunk, he's getting violet, I need help. Please come quick." I begged into the phone, my hot tears falling on the receiver.

I gave them my address, they recognized it as my dad's, but they said they would send help. I should have done this a long time ago, I knew. But I could never muster the strength to get help, I always thought no one would come, that and no one cared.

I flashed back to the seven year-old me, still in awe of my parents and thought that butterflies and princesses were the coolest thing. That was when it all started. I was playing with dolls one night and suddenly my dad burst into my room, staggering with his blood shot eyes. I was young and terrified, I didn't know what alcohol was and what it did to people. My father beat me, until I couldn't move, and then he left the room. My mother didn't come for me, instead I just lay there all night, too sore and in pain to move. Years later, I can still vividly remember that night. Those empty eyes will never leave my memory.

I hung up the phone, relieved, but realized it would take them a couple of minutes to get here. I braced myself for my dad, pounding on the door. This time I opened it up, and pushed him back.

"Now you listen to me!" I yelled. "You ol' drunk! You don't mean anything to this family. I hate you! You've hurt me so many times you can't hurt me no more! I'm sick of this, and it's gonna end!"

He looked like he was about to hit me when he heard them. The sirens came around my block and stopped in front of my house. I stood back as I saw the police come into my house. My dad looked angrily at me, "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" He yelled.

He took another swipe at me, this time with the beer bottle. It broke against my skull, little shards cut across my head. I screamed. The policemen ran upstairs and grabbed my daddy. He was cursing, but they took him away.

My mom came out of her room, and in shock whispered to me, "Thank you."

I knew this was the only time she'd ever be decent to me, I still looked like him no matter what. My head was killing me, but I needed to get out of there. I didn't want them to take me into an ambulance or something. My mom didn't say anything as I walked out the door, and then ran into the woods.

There, in the middle of the woods, I collapsed. I fell down to the ground and curled up into a ball, leaning on a tree. I started crying. I don't know, I just cried. I cried because of my dad, hurting me, I cried because he had hurt my mom. I cried thinking of how he used to be just a little kid, not knowing what he'd become one day.

* * *

Dallas heard the sirens, he saw the police cars driving by. He didn't think much of it until he saw them turn down Dana's street. That's when he started running. By the time he got there, he saw them pulling Dana's dad into the car. He ran into her house, but couldn't find her.

Then he saw the backdoor was open and ran, he ran into the woods, somehow knowing that was where she was. He ran until he heard someone crying, he heard her sobs and ran to her. There she sat, curled in a ball and sobbing. Her face lay in her hands, covering her beauty. He saw her body shake as she cried.

Slowly, he sat beside her; she didn't lift her head. Dallas didn't know what to say; he pulled her into his arms and let her cry. It seemed like she couldn't stop, her body just kept producing tears. It killed him. To feel the tears of her sorrow, seeing her shake with sadness. She was scared, she had no one. No, she had him. Dana had him now. Dallas then put his hand to her face, which was now resting on his chest, still crying.

"He can't hurt you anymore." He whispered.

His finger brushed her face, it felt so damp. She slowly lifted her head to meet his eyes. They were wide with fear and full of sadness. In her sorrow her beauty was evident. Her soft, brown hair fell down past her shoulders, as her smooth lips quivered. He looked into her deep brown eyes.

"I won't let anyone hurt you."

He didn't say anything as he held my face in his hands.

"No one will ever hurt you again." He said.

I was still crying, but I managed to say: "It's all better now, my dad's gone. Everything's okay now."

He just shook his head, "You're always gettin' hurt, someone's always gonna try to hurt you. No one's gonna hurt you no more."


	7. Blame

Time passed, like it always does. Things didn't go back to normal, they were never really normal in the first place. I sort of moved in with Ponyboy, I slept on his couch every night. My mom found me one day and said she was leaving, she gave me an address and a number. Guess she was making a fresh start, without me. I couldn't be mad, she never did much for me. I let her leave.

My house is empty now, my mom left me the stuff from my room but took the rest. The house is for sale now, someone else will leave inside the walls I begged to fall down. I can't go inside, too many memories. Ponyboy and his brothers gave me an extra room in their house, I kind of put my bed there and that was about it. They were real nice to me, I guess they knew that it was like going on without parents. I guess they kind of adopted me.

* * *

Dally stayed with me some nights, some nights he went out. Sometimes I woke up with him lying next to me, those were some of the nicest moments. Tonight, two weeks after my dad got hauled off, Dally stayed with me.

We'd fooled around before, but tonight was...tonight, and we were together. We were kissing, and slowly I felt his hand creep up my shirt. I used to push all the other guys away, but Dally was special. I want him to touch me, I want to feel his hands on me. Like he said, he could never hurt me. I felt him slowly take off my clothes, and I slowly took off his.

We laid down on my bed and his hands felt smooth against my body, touching me softly. I felt him kiss my neck, and then my lips. His strong, muscular arms were wrapped around me, and I felt his hard stomach lying on top of mine. The rings on his fingers sent shivers down my spine as the cold silver touched my skin. His lips felt soft against mine, like they fit there.

My eyes opened the next morning to see his face. Dallas was beautiful- no one cold deny that. Not in the movie star, obvious way. Dallas had hard looks, his eyes always looked like they hated the world and his mouth never smiled. Before I really knew him, he always seemed bitter; I had always wondered why. His hateful eyes were the deepest shade of brown, they almost looked black.

Unless you looked really hard into his eyes, you wouldn't notice that they were brown at all. His dark brown hair, almost black, only complimented his image. He had thick eyebrows, but his eyes were dark also. Most greasers were muscular but usually lanky. Dallas had strong, muscular arms and a toned body. I can only assume he got it from living on the streets so long, fighting and jumping people.

He had such a smooth, angular face. His face seemed almost permanently hard, frozen with coldness. I used to think so too, I still do sometimes. But when we're alone, his eyes soften and his lips curve. The dark eyes become warm, hard to look away from. He was still asleep, but his arms remained around me. One arm was draped across my stomach. It was cold, so I pulled the sheets higher. I curled up and fell back asleep.

* * *

When I woke again, he was awake too. He smiled and kissed my lips. He reached out his hand and touched my face. His skin felt freezing, I shivered. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his slow breath on my skin, and it felt so warm. I smiled, knowing it couldn't get better than this. So we lay there, not wanting time to pass. I had my hand on his chest and enjoyed the feeling of his beating heart. Slowly, ever so slowly, we got out of bed. We silently dressed, wondering if anyone was still in the house. Dally opened the door and walked out into the hall, I followed behind him. To my relief, the house was empty. Just then Soda ran into the house, and stopped when he saw us.

"Boy, Dal- get ready man." He said.

"What's up?" Dallas asked, staying cool.

"Rumble." Soda said.

"When?" Dallas said in an obvious tone.

"Tonight, soon actually, I'm headin' over now." Soda explained.

So soon? Where had this come from?

"Where's everybody?" Dally asked, lighting a cigarette.

"At the lot, they're all ready. All them Brumly boys, and them hoods, they're all there too. We needed their help, and they owe us." Soda said.

I shuddered to think of what they had done to "owe" them.

"Alright man, I'll be right there." Dallas said casually.

"Hurry." Was all Sodapop said before running out the door again.

He held my shoulders, kissed my lips, and said, "I gotta go, I'll be back soon."

"Don't get hurt." I pleaded.

He smiled, "I never get hurt." I watched him go.

I wondered what the rumble was about. They sometimes got in fights, but rumbles were big.

* * *

A few minutes later I heard someone coming through the back door, I turned to see Sodapop coming inside. "Hey, what're you doing?" I asked.

He laughed, "Forgot my blade, you seen it?" He asked.

"Sorry, I haven't. What's the rumble about anyway?" He didn't say anything as he looked.

"Soda, really, why?" He found his blade, put it in his pocket, and sighed. "Don't get sore now-but them Socs ain't too happy that you been hangin' out with us and all. They were sayin' that you were too good for us an' stuff, I don't know. They were lookin' for a fight anyway, you were just the excuse." He reasoned.

I stood there in shock. "You're fighting for me? But...that's...I'm not worth the fight! What if someone gets hurt?"

Sodapop smiled, "Hey, you're worth the fight. To Dal, to Pony, to all of us. We like a little action now and then anyways."

I looked up at him, "Please, don't let anyone get hurt." I begged.

He turned to me, "I won't."

I nodded and he ran out the door, ready to fight. I slowly sat down on the couch and thought things over. Dallas had known the whole time, I was sure he did, and he hadn't told me. Neither had any of them, not even Ponyboy. To think this all started because I saw Ponyboy at the movies one day.

I wonder how my dad's doing right now. The police told me he'd lost his sheriff badge and was now in jail, waiting for his court sentence. I would testify against him. My mom wouldn't show, I already knew that. She didn't want me or him to be a part of her life anymore. How could I blame her?


	8. Hospital

It got real cold in the house and I got up to look for a blanket, I saw the time was 9:30. I started to get scared, where were they? I fell asleep on my bed, I guess I just kinda collapsed or something.

I was awakened by being shaken violently. My eyes opened and I saw Johnny standing over me. I rubbed my eyes, everything was still blurry.

"Wha...what happened?" I asked groggily.

"Pony...Ponyboy." Was all he managed to spit out. And suddenly I was wide awake.

"What happened?" I asked darkly.

"St-stabbed. Hospital." He managed.

I stood there in shock. "Come on, he'll wanna see you." Johnny said.

"He's gonna be ok?" I breathed.

"I don't know." Johnny replied.

A split second later, Johnny and I were running, sprinting to the hospital. I didn't care that I was still in my pajamas

We ran through the doors and he led me outside of Ponyboy's room. There, I saw all the guys sitting on chairs, looking scared. Sodapop, Darry, Steve, Two-bit, and Dally were sitting there. They all looked up and Johnny and I standing there. I looked at Sodapop, he had promised. He looked scared, I knew I couldn't blame him. I looked away. I saw Darry, his face buried in his hands. How Ponyboy could think Darry hated him, I don't know.

"Is-is he gonna be ok?" I asked quietly.

"Doctor's won't tell us anything." Sodapop whispered.

I bit my lip. Johnny said, "We were fightin' just fine and then we heard someone scream. I looked over and saw Pony, blood comin' from him. The fight stopped and we ran him over here."

I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I thought of Ponyboy, so sweet, and someone hurting that innocence. It made me real mad, they can't help being greasers. The Socs can't help being Socs. Why did it have to be like this? Why did they have to hate each other? This is all it leads to in the end. Hate doesn't lead to justice, it brings pain. Courage isn't in fighting, it's in healing. To be hurt and love again. That's bravery.

They all looked pretty bruised up, but nothing too bad. The door opened and a doctor came out, we all looked up. "He's stable enough now, if someone wants to come and talk to him." He told us.

Darry and Sodapop walked in with anxious looks on their faces.

Dally came over to me. Neither of us said anything but we held each other's hands, as if letting go would mean letting go of Ponyboy. We held on tight. I leaned against the wall and shut my eyes. This can't be real. He'll be okay. He has to be.

Darry and Soda came out, they seemed better now. "He wants to see you." Darry said quietly to me. I nodded, and let my hand slip out of Dally's as I opened the door.

* * *

I let it close behind me as I went and sat next to Ponyboy's bed. I mustered a smile, "Hey," I said.

Despite the bandaging he had around his torso, he smiled back.

"How are you?" I asked weakly. It hurt to see him like this, a lump formed in my throat.

"The cut wasn't as deep as it felt. It'll heal." He said casually. I hated when people acted like that. If you're in the hospital for getting stabbed, you earn the right to be selfish.

"I can't bear you getting hurt Ponyboy, I'm just not worth all that trouble."

"No, hey, you are." He said, then continued, "Remember how you used to say you weren't loved?"

I nodded, and he said, "Well you are. And not just by Dally. I love you too. But not like that, I just love you. Ya know? Like a sister, almost, or a friend."

I smiled, "You're such a good person, Ponyboy. You're like that sunrise we saw, you're gold. Stay like that."

He only smiled. After a few moments of thought, his face turned serious. He looked at me with his honest eyes and said, "I guess I owe you an apology, I was wrong. Guess ol' Dal can love someone. I think you're the only person he's ever really loved."

"He's never had anyone?" I asked, surely he's loved before.

"Well, he's had girls and all, but that was just fooling around, I guess. Ya dig?"

I nodded. Ponyboy continued, "I've never seen him be anything but mean or cold, you're changing him."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

How could I, so insignificant, change Dally? The one force that could not be moved. Maybe that was it; he hadn't moved, just changed form.

"It can be. I mean, it's nice to know he's got a heart there somewhere. But he's still Dally, he'll always be Dally. Dally's mean." He said flatly. Ponyboy had never liked Dallas much, that was evident. I always wondered why.

"I know." I said. Then a thought came to mind.,"Hey, Pony, what about his parents?"

"Well, they don't really care about him much, and he doesn't care about them either. Technically they're not really family, he never talks to them or anything. He's never home."

I thought this over, he didn't have any family in the same way I did. Why had he never told me? "He doesn't talk about himself much." I noted.

"Probably because he's too busy worrying about you."

"He shouldn't be I'm-" I started to say before Ponyboy cut me off, "No. You're not fine. He knows that as well as I do. You need someone to worry for you...he's that someone." I could almost hear a small bitterness in Ponyboy's voice as he told me this.

"Are you saying he's trying to take the place of my father?" I wondered.

"In a way, I mean, I don't know. Dallas has a mind of his own, but he can probably tell you need to be cared for, since no one else is doing that for you. He gets you don't have much of a family."

"But you care for me, Ponyboy. You've saved me so many times, I don't think you even know. I don't know where I'd be without you." I said, almost crying.

"Aw, I care for you plenty. But I ain't no Dally, we know that. He loves you like I can't."

"You sure are an interesting kid, Ponyboy."

"Yeah, I know." He said grinning.

I laughed, I hadn't done that in a long time. "You're gonna be okay, Ponyboy."

He smiled, "I know."

I walked out then, the other guys would probably wanna see him.

* * *

I smiled as I walked out, "He's gonna be okay." I said to them.

Then all of them went in to see him. All of them but Dallas, who just stood there. He walked over to me, and he put one hand on the small of my back, the other on my face. I leaned against the wall as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. He leaned his face down next to mine, I felt his face against my ear.

"I love you." He murmured.

His lips tickled my ear, I turned to meet his face. "I've always loved you." I whispered back.

And we kissed.

Once again, I woke up next to Dallas Winston. This time, we were asleep in chairs in the waiting room at the hospital. When we woke up, the doctors told us that Ponyboy was very lucky, and that the blade had gotten real close to his heart. Fortunately, it didn't cut any organs or anything and it was shallow enough that he could get off with some antibiotics and stuff. I went in to see him, he looked real tired.

Outside in the waiting room, Dallas had gone outside for a smoke, and the rest of the guys were waiting around. I didn't know them all real well, so I decided to leave. I didn't really know where to go, I didn't have a home to go back to, it didn't feel right going back to Ponyboy's place. I realized it was near evening, I used to go inside at this time of night. This was when 'greasers' would come out. Now I didn't think much of it, I knew them now.

I sat down on an empty bus waiting bench, in front of some buildings and across the street from a church and a few restaurants and shops. I can't remember it, but I fell asleep. I must've, because when I woke up I didn't know where I was. I opened my eyes and observed my surroundings with no emotion. I was lying down on grass, possibly on a field. Suddenly I felt a hand on me. I jumped in my place and shrieked.

"Hey, hey, it's me." Dally's sweet voice dripped into the air.

"Sorry...where are we?" I whispered.

I turned my body to see Dallas, lying next to me. He angled himself towards me also, holding his head up with his hand, propped up by his elbow.

He smiled down at me, lying on the grass. "We're somewhere. I found ya asleep on some bench."

I smiled a little, "And you brought me here."

He shrugged, "Seemed more comfortable."

I looked up at him, his words told me that, but his eyes were saying something different. I just stared into his eyes, I can't tell you for how long.

He stared right back. It was still dark out, probably sometime early in the morning. He put his arm around me, it was cold tonight. I tucked my head under his chin, and we embraced each other. My arm slid around his torso, and we lay there. I was about to fall asleep when I felt his presence. I shifted my head up and saw he was still awake, staring into the distance.

"What're you thinking about?" I asked softly. He broke his focus, and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"Just thinkin'..." He said passively.

"Yeah, but about what?"

"'Bout stuff...I'm just confused, that's all."

It was hard for him to open up, I knew. It was usually me who cried or who did the talking, and he always knew what to say. I was tired of it, I had always been tired of it. I wanted to hear his thoughts.

"What's confusing you? I really want to know, tell me."

He looked down, my eyes pleaded with him. He gave in.

"I just don't know...you confuse me."

"Me? How?"

"How can you be just so...happy? You've grown up the way you did. I didn't have the greatest childhood either, and I ain't nothing like you."

I nodded, "Because we're just different people. You lived on the streets, I lived in a house. You were raised to not feel anything and I was raised feeling too much." I said in a wispy voice. "I never felt anything good 'till I met you."

I looked into his dark eyes, which glowed as they looked into mine. "I've never loved anything before I met you." He leaned down and kissed me, I kissed him back.


	9. Run

I was left now with nowhere to go. I walked over to my old house and stood in front of it. I just stared, thinking about the times I ran up those stairs, or cried in that room. About how Dally had climbed up that window, and how my dad had broken down that door. Without thinking, I started walking into the forest, I didn't want to be there anymore.

I walked back to Ponyboy's house, and fell asleep in my bed. When I woke up I felt Dally's arms around me, I smiled. I got up out of bed, he was still asleep. I went out to the kitchen where I found Sodapop there.

"How's Ponyboy doing?" I asked.

"Good, he's gonna be okay."

I heard a rustling from my room, Dally was waking up. Soda looked in that direction, and then grabbed my arm. He pulled me outside and stopped, looking at my confused face.

"Look..." He said, wiping his forehead, "I know you're friends with Pony and all, but you better stop hurting him, ya here? He's my kid brother and I don't like seeing him hurt like this."

"What are you talking about?" I asked confusedly. How had I ever hurt Ponyboy?

"He loves you goddamn it!" Sodapop exploded, "Whether he wants to admit it or not, he loves you. Then you go off with Dally; it's hurtin' him. Now he ain't sayin' nuthin' 'cause you're friends and all, but I'm gonna say somethin'. Stop hurtin' him."

I just stared blankly back at him. "What makes you think so?"

Sodapop sighed and explained, "From the way he looks at you, from the way he kinda perks up when he hears your name. Little things."

"We're friends, that's all. He knows that."

Soda shook his head, "That's what's killin' him, ya hear? He loves you but he can't. He's young, he don't know what to do."

"It's just not like that." I explained, persisting.

"Maybe to you it's not! But to him...he wishes it was!" Sodapop exploded.

His eyes were bulging, and eyes expressed pain for his younger brother. I used to think of Soda as kind of carefree and funny, but Ponyboy always told me he was real good to talk to. Now I could see another side of him; Soda really loved Ponyboy. He wasn't just his brother, he seemed like his protector, his defender.

Just then Darry walked outside, "Hey, what're you yellin' about Soda?" He said with authority in his tone.

When he saw my face, I probably looked upset, he went up to Sodapop, "What're you sayin' to her?"

Soda just said, "Nothin'."

Darry turned to me and asked, "Is it?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded quickly walked back inside.

Darry followed me in, "Look now, what did Sodapop say to you?"

I just shook my head. I tried to leave when I ran into Dally, who put his hands on my shoulders, blocking me from leaving.

"What'd Soda do?" He asked.

"I don't know, won't tell me." Darry said, annoyed.

I kept my head low and mumbled, "Nothing."

Dally swore angrily, and walked out the door and found Soda. I heard him yelling at him, and I didn't know what to do. I just looked at Darry and left. He let me go.

* * *

I found myself walking to the prison, to see my dad. Don't ask me why, because I can't tell you. Thinking about what Soda had said wasn't an option, I guess I needed to worry about some other problem right then. But this one was already fixed, my dad was in jail, he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. I could never love him, but he was my father after all. No matter how badly, the man had raised me. I walked inside and found his cell.

He looked up when he saw me, "Hey there, girl. Tell them people here I didn't do anything wrong now."

I shook my head, "You did wrong."

"Ah, whatever." He exploded, "You're worth nothing, you little piece of shit. No one could ever love you, 'cause how can they? Who could love you? You're trash. You know why? I made you trash, I beat you 'till you were nothing but trash." He snickered coldly.

I used to cry, but now I wouldn't. I looked at him with wide eyes and said, "You're going to jail, daddy. I'm never gonna visit you; you'll be alone. The only people who'll talk to you are the inmates, losers like you. You did wrong and now you gotta pay for it. You may have beaten me, but I'm not trash. I'm not you."

His fists formed around the metal bars that held him back. I could tell he wanted to hurt me, but he couldn't anymore.

"I'm gonna make sure I never see you again, you're gonna rot away in jail." I said.

He looked at me with his stone cold eyes. "I'm gonna get outta here, someday. Someday soon. I know the tricks, they'll let me out."

His face was passionate with anger, buried so deep within him it would stay there forever. He was shaking; aching to hurt me. My dad's hands formed hard fists around the jail bars, his knuckles turned white and were shaking. His teeth were clenched and eyes were ablaze with hatred. I stumbled back, unable to hide my fear. He laughed a sick, hateful laugh.

"When they let me out, I'm gonna find you. You can run, but I can run faster. You can hide, but I'll know where to find you. Daddy's little girl." He smiled, the corners of his mouth turning sickly.

His eyes burned holes into mine, I couldn't look away.

"When I find you, I'm gonna hurt you so bad, little girl. I'm gonna kill you. You ain't no daughter of mine. I'm gonna kill you for what you did to me!" He screamed, echoing through the empty hall of cells. "Look at me." He commanded, "LOOK AT ME!"

I forced my eyes onto him. "You're gonna die the most painful death-more painful than you can imagine. I'm going to make your soul scream, your heart stop. You're death is gonna be long and slow." He smiled again.

As I looked at the door to leave, he spoke again, this time more slowly. "There's more. Once I kill you, I'm takin' your body to that guy-Dallas."

My eyes were wide with fear, I felt my jaw fall out of place. How did he know? He answered that for me, "I remember the night he was there. He's been in the jail, I've seen him around too many times."

He said with hatred, then continued. "He's gonna see your dead body, I'm showin' it to him with pride. He'll wanna kill me, but I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill every one of those grease's. They're all gonna die, 'cause of you. Just some stupid, unimportant little girl."

I turned away from him, forcing my eyes out of focus. Once I saw the door, staring at me from the long hall, I ran.

"I'LL KILL YA!" His voice echoed through the empty halls.

I ran until I reached town, where my body couldn't move anymore. I collapsed onto a bench and lay down across it, facing the sky. No...no! They won't die because of me. I'm not worth it, I've never been worth it. He said he'd find me if I ran, I can let that happen.

He can kill me if he wants. I'll run as far as I can, so far Dally and them will have time to run. They know how to hide, he'll never find them. I'll die, sure, but they will live. Dallas will live. I can die for them, I know I can. I have to tell them to run, but how? How do I tell them without telling them? An idea came to me, and I ran back to Ponyboy's house.

* * *

I burst through the door, it was late afternoon by then. Sitting on the couch were Darry and Sodapop, they looked up at me, surprised by my loudness. The look on my face must have alerted them to something, because they immediately knew something was wrong. I went over to them,

"You have to get out of here. All of you."

They looked confused, "What happened?" Darry asked with urgency.

"The...the police. I went to see my dad. He told them about all of you. He made up some story- said you all ganged up and killed some out of towner. He said you hid the body, but he said he saw you do it. They're looking for you, they're gonna find you if you don't run." I finished.

My story sounded pretty believable, I hoped. Maybe it was one of those things that was so random it could be true.

"What?!" Soda yelled. Darry remained calm, but his face was frozen, his fists clenched.

He turned to Soda, "Get the guys."

I looked at Darry at said, "There's no time, get them all. Run, now. Far away from here. If you hide out long enough, they'll give up. Wait a couple of months."

Soda ran out to find everything as I explained to Darry. He was smart, and read between my lines. "What about you?" He asked.

I shook my head, "They're not looking for me. My dad didn't say anything about me, I guess he figured it would be harder for me to see all of you locked up. He's right. I'm staying here, but if they get suspicious, I'll run."

"No. You're coming with us. You won't know where to run to, we travel fast."

"So do I, I won't go where you will. They'll have me tailed, but they can't do anything to me. I'll lead them in a wrong direction, get them lost, then come back."

He looked skeptical, so I hurriedly said, "Don't worry, I can do it." He still wasn't convinced. "Look," I pleaded. "they're not looking for me, they're looking for you. I'm in no danger, it's you who's gotta run."

"But you're one of us." He stated simply. I felt myself warming to that sentence. One of them. I had always felt like an outsider, the only girl; Dally's girl. Ponyboy's friend.

"Not to the police, trust me, it's better."

"You're coming with us." It sounded final. Just then, Soda burst through the back door, with Steve, Two-Bit, Johnny, and Dally in tow.

"I couldn't find Pony." He said, gasping for breath.

Fear clouded Darry's face. "I'll go find him." I said quickly, I needed my escape.

"I'm comin' with you." Dally said. I tried to smile, we left the house.

"He's either at the movies or lookin' for one of us." I said.

"You go to the theater, I'll go to the gas station, he might be looking for Sodapop there."

"Look, if they're lookin' for us, we're stickin' together."

"They're not looking for me, and you know how to hide. If we don't hurry, they could find Ponyboy."

As I spoke those words, realization hit me. If everything goes to plan, this is the last time I'll ever see Dally. The last time he'll ever see me. I stopped, so did he, looking slightly confused.

I leaned into him, "I love you Dallas." I said.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear.

I kissed him, so hard I kissed him. With more passion than I've ever had before. I ran my fingers through his hair, my last time feeling his dark, greased up hair. I felt his lips on mine, the last time I'd feel his soft lips. His hands held my face, the last time I'd feel his touch. We suddenly pulled away from each other, remembering.

"Ponyboy." I whispered.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. He saw my face and looked worried. Before he could say anything, I turned and ran to the gas station. I had to leave, before I was weak enough to stay. He wouldn't follow, he might want to, but he wouldn't. Gotta find Ponyboy.

I sprinted past the gas station, across the street, to the bus stop. The bus was coming up the street now, I knew I had just barely made it. I got on board and looked at the sign. It was going to Hinton, Oklahoma. About two hours away from here. The bus was empty except for the driver. I lay down across the seats, and let the bus take me away.

* * *

Dally saw her run away. Why had she looked so sad? He wanted to look for Ponyboy, but something pulled him to her. Gravity. He ran, following behind. She didn't see him, she was already about 4 blocks ahead, barely in his site. He saw her run past the gas station, and onto a bus. He ran to stop it, but it turned down the street, and by the time he got there, it was gone. He ran after it, but couldn't find any traces of her anywhere. Why would she leave? Ponyboy, he suddenly remembered. He ran to the movie theater and dragged him out, filling him in on everything as they ran back to the house. When they got there, Dally made an announcement.

"I'm gonna stay behind with Dana. Not for long, just long enough so she can figure her side of the plan out. I'm not lettin' her run alone. We'll follow after."

None of them disagreed, they were ready to leave and they knew Dally wouldn't get caught, Dally never got caught.

So they got in their cars, as planned, and drove to the nearest cab service out of town. There, they would pull out the switches, getting a free ride. They'd all go to some place called Greenhue, 'bout a couple of hours out of town. Once they got there, they would go find one of Dally's old friends, who knew where to hid them.

But Dally wouldn't follow them, he wouldn't go to Greenhue; he had never liked that cousin much anyway.

Why she had gone, he didn't know. But she left for a reason, and no matter what it was, he was determined to find her.

* * *

The bus stopped and left me off. I walked out onto a country scene. The sun was about to set, it was 6 by now. It set at 6:30; I remembered because that's when Ponyboy and I used to go out and watch the sunset sometimes. Ponyboy...! I never got to say goodbye! What will he think of me? What will Dally think of me? What will all of them think of me?

All they know is that my father killed me, they won't know the rest. I'm sure they'll find out eventually, wherever they are. Won't anyone notice my passing? With a horror I realized the only people who would realize it, where the people who didn't even know where I was.

So I would die unnoticed, unacknowledged. That was okay, though. They would be safe. That's why I had to die.

You might think that if I kept running I could run long enough that my dad would either give up or lose track. But he wouldn't. I knew him, for sixteen years of my life I knew him. I saw the way he looked at me, he won't ever give up. It's his only purpose now, he's got nothing else to live for. And once I'm dead, I realized, his only purpose would be to find Dally. But...he wouldn't. He couldn't. They were well hidden.

But what if they came looking for me? He knew how to manipulate people, no matter how smart they were. Love conquers all, right? It conquers judgement and truth. He would find them. But, again, love conquers all. All those guys loved each other, they wouldn't let another die. They would fight. But were they too proud to keep running? Would they stand strong and get beaten down?

These thoughts came through my brain all too fast, it was blinding.

Don't worry about my dad finding me, I know he will. See, I knew there was a policeman at the gas station when I ran by. He was getting his tires fixed. I had punctured them. He saw me run, so I knew that would attract his attention I'm sure he saw me get onto the bus that said "Hinton, OK" on it. He would know, and he'd maybe talk about it at the station, about how the former sheriff's daughter ran away. Or maybe he'd tell my dad, once he gets out. I know he'll get up soon, he might even make up a story about my 'greasers', like I had told them he did.

These were my dad's former colleagues, he knew them, know how they worked. His job was to know their weaknesses, so he could make them tougher. And now he knew how to break them. They would break, I knew them too. They were just in it for the badge, doing anything for praise. My dad would give it too them, and whatever else was going on in his head. He would get out.

I don't know how long it would take him to find me, but he'd find me, soon enough. I could either postpone death and keep running or I could stand strong and face it. One was being rational, the other was gallant. So which was right?


	10. Search

The next bus out to Hinton wasn't until the next morning. I had no car, the guys had used it to get away. It was getting dark, so I figured I was safe to walk around town. I darted through the streets, searching for a car to jack. It was like everyone had planned tonight to either go out for a ride, or put their cars in the garage, the whole place was empty. I wondered why, it was a saturday night, wouldn't the Socs be out getting drunk or on dates with their lousy ol' girlfriends? It didn't make sense, but it didn't matter. I needed to get to her.

I searched all night long, not a car in sight. At one point, I thought I saw a nice one and got lucky. I pulled out my switch, ready to break into it, when I see two people in the backseat. You can guess what they were doin'. I laughed but got out of their fast, I probably looked like some creep.

I was walkin' around when I saw a sign on a street lamp. It was talkin' 'bout some big event or somethin' the next town over, which explained where everyone was. But seriously, the whole goddamn town? The other greasers in my neighborhood probably got bored and went there too, looking for girls to score or Socs to fight.

What's the point of bein' a greaser if no one's around? They'd all come back in the morning though, that's when I'd get a car. Morning was coming soon, though. The once pitch black sky was now a bold dark blue. It was the time between night and sunrise, dark and dawn. I liked this time of night, most of the times I've seen it though I've been out with girls or some guys. I've never really been alone to see it. It sure looked nice.

I wish she were here.

So, I, Dallas Winston, was in love.

No one would expect that, not even me. I wasn't lying when I told her before, I never used to feel anything. Just hate and resentment, but those ain't feelings you want. Sure, they make ya tough and all, but only to everyone else. To you, your still full of hate, you resent everything and everyone. You push people away, but that only pulls them closer, only the ones who want to be close. I guess someone was eventually gonna get close enough that I couldn't push them away.

The sun broke through the horizon, and dawn lasted for only a moment. For one little moment, everything was gold. I blinked and it was gone. The sunrise was a bunch of colors now, maybe some people'd think it's pretty or somethin' like that. But I think it's the one little moment that makes it beautiful. That's what I think, anyway.

I hid in some church for a while, as the cars started coming back. Even the parents were so hungover they wouldn't notice their cars missing. Not for a while, anyway.

I came out and stalked over to a nice, Soc neighborhood. Everyone was inside their big houses, on their expensive furniture and expensive clothes. I hated them.

Even if I love someone, that can't stop the resentment. Look at Darry and Soda. They had to work so hard just to get Ponyboy and all them through the week. Buying food and all that. They ate a lot, we all do. Them Socs don't give a hoot about money, all they knew was that they had it. They never got it into their little, spoiled brains that people earn things.

Their parents hardly earned their money though, either through family or their jobs. But at least they did something to get it. Us greasers earn our reputation. Them Socs don't do nothing. I saw a car, a real nice, tuff-lookin' car. It was a blue Mustang, sitting on the driveway of some big ol' house, probably stuffed with unnecessary stuff they didn't need. Stuff we couldn't afford to buy. It wasn't fair, it never was. I got the car all right, didn't take much. Drunks left it unlocked, with the key on the seat. I looked into their house window and got real mad. I saw a nice room with a big ol' couch and paintings and stuff like that. We couldn't even dream of that.

I looked around and saw they had rocks lining some little garden-thing in front of their house. I picked up the rock, and smashed it through their window. The whole thing shattered, with a nice, loud sound as the rock hit the glass. I could hear movement inside the house, just because they were drunk didn't mean they weren't deaf. I got in the car and drove off, speeding down the road in my new Mustang. I could've smiled, but how could I. They had the money to back this thing up, I had to steal to get a ride.

I knew the drive to Hinton, I actually knew the place pretty well. Whenever the fuzz would get real suspicious of me or somethin', I'd just go on out there for a while. Only if they were real ticked, though. I ain't no coward. Like one time there was this fight at Dingo's. See, this guy shoved me to get past. You don't mess with us greasers. We ain't got much, but we got pride and hair grease. And switches. I did what any tough guy would do and pulled out my switch. I didn't hurt the guy too bad, heard he went to the hospital for a while, but that don't matter. So I knew they was gonna bust me up, and I'd just gotten out and all.

So I just lifted a car and went on over to Hinton. My cousin, Jeff, let me chill with him. He wasn't much of a guy though. Everyday he got up to feed some chickens, and all that farming stuff. It wasn't greaser turf, but the police didn't find me so I went back a few times. For fun I'd walk around and mess up the farms and stuff. Let the cows out and all. It's gotta be a pretty boring town when that's the only fun thing you can find to do. Kept me out of jail though, long sentences and all. I ain't got no time for them.

I drove as fast as I could, not knowing really why. Maybe she had another plan worked out, but why hadn't she told us, told me? And why did she look so sad before she left?

I drove for an hour before the gas ran out, I had no money for anymore. But I had my switch, and that was enough to convince the guys at the station. I have them a cocky grin as I pulled away. They just stood there, unmoving. Guess they were used to it. Well that whole thing took 'about half an hour, these hillbillies didn't know how to work a damn thing. I could feel the speed of the car inching up, a few miles at a time. If felt electrifying. There weren't any of the fuzz around, so I didn't even need to pull out my switch. Just a nice and easy ride; didn't get a lot of those.

* * *

What the hell right does she have to do this to me? I'll kill her, I will. Nice and slow. I raised the damn kid, used to walk her to school, for a while. Then she started getting older, and opinions and all that. That little...she's not grateful for anything. In kindergarten, I made her lunches and all. My paycheck bought the food. While she was learning how to count, I was doing something that mattered. I had to chase off them damn hoodlums 'round town. Getting drunk and trashing the town. Scum. All of them. And now, fate hands me the perfect chance. I can hurt this girl, I can hurt them greasers, I'm gonna kill them all.

I got out right on time, told the guys at the station all they needed to hear. They believed me when I said my daughter acted out against me. The night they came to my house was the night she set me up. Got some drugs from her grease buddies and put it in my food. I got all worked up and she called 911, like she'd planned all along. Told them she was a smart kid, but too much for her own good. Told them when I found her I'd punish her just right.

They told me my house was sold and my wife had gone. I told them we were 'bout to move anyway, that's why my daughter was getting so mad. She didn't want to leave. We had chosen a new house and everything. We were gonna make the official announcement, but the night before she got desperate and drugged her old man. They believed every word. Asked them where my daughter was, I wanted to find her, I said. Convince her to move with us. One of them piped up, he said he saw her take the bus this afternoon. Which bus, I had asked him. He told me it might've been the bus to Hinton. I smiled, I should've guessed.

We used to drive through there on our way to my wife's mom's place, an old fashioned mansion the next state over. Sometimes we stopped there and got lunch, so we knew the town pretty well. Little kid would always be running off onto someone's farm, don't know why, but she loved it there. She was waiting for me, she knew I was coming. And I was.


	11. Fear

It was dark, now, and the town had gone to sleep. I wandered around, looking at the small farms and houses that occupied the crop-filled fields. They looked so small and nice, like they didn't have a problem in the world. Of course they did, if there was one thing I knew it was that no matter what you are, nobody's got it perfect. I'm not saying it's hard all over, just saying that it's sure not easy.

Some lights from the houses were still on, maybe a family sitting around playing cards or something, or maybe someone staying up late reading a good book. I smiled to myself, at least someone could go to sleep at night at peace.

It wasn't that I was scared to die. No, it wasn't that. I wasn't scared of my father, I knew him. It was the pain and loss. I didn't want to be hurt again, I felt like I was giving in. But if I could die to save Dally and Ponyboy and the gang, then I would do it. It hurt to think of Dally, living on without me. That's all we can hope for really, to die like that. What a better way to leave the world than in a gallant act? I think I could be okay with dying for someone I love, because I know they're worth far more than my life.

And if I could give them anything, surely my life is but the last thing I have. Because if Dallas or Ponyboy was gone, I would be too. There is no way I could live without either of them, they've got a part of me inside them. But it hurt even more to think of me, living on without Dally. I don't think I could do it. Once you get a taste of perfection, it ruins you. You have to have it, expecting nothing less. No one will ever be Dally.

But the pain...the pain of death. I'm a coward, I must admit. I didn't want to die like this. I hadn't seen enough, I hadn't done enough. Sure, I've seen plenty of things. But not the things I want to see. I've seen violence, death, pain; I've seen love through it all, but why do we need to hate? I haven't done much, either. I've loved, I've cried, all that. But I'll never get a chance to grow old now, never get to make the right mistakes. I'll die a teenage girl and I'll be remembered as a teenage girl. Everyone changes over time, even Dally.

His only memory of me will be a sixteen year old girl who cried too much and loved too hard. When he's old, maybe thirty or in his forties, what will he think? Will I be some girl he used to love, or someone he can never let go of? I won't get to grow old with him; I think that's what we all want when we find our soulmate. Someone to reminisce with, back to the old days, when we were young and beautiful; just falling in love. My skin will never wrinkle in his memory, I will become a gravestone, with a rotting body underneath.

That's what did it. I started shaking, fear had made my skin turn cold. Tears were streaming down my face. It was probably one in the morning by now. By the time the sun sets, I won't be alive. That's a scary thought, even worse as it sinks in. My time was limited, and I was alone. I wish, in a way, that Dally was here. I want him to be with me as I die, but I want him to be safe. The only thing keeping me going is the thought of him being hurt- killed. Unbearable.

I think right then I realized it. I wasn't ready to die, but I could make peace with dying. My life was only worth so much, and if I died tonight for all of the gang then it was worth it. I didn't want to die, but I would die anyway. Because no matter how much I don't want to get hurt, no matter how much I value my life, all of theirs are more important. Ponyboy, he's gonna do something great one day. Maybe he'll be a famous author or something, but he always knows what to say. He reads people, he takes down our labels and chisels them down to who we really are. Then Dally...oh, Dally. Others saw a greaser, a hood. In their eyes he was trouble and arrogant. I used to see that too. But he had to act tough, they all did. It's how the game is played, it's how it's always been played, and it's how it will always be played. But his heart was gold, I knew it. Pure, beyond what he'd seen. He could love, and that was a lot to say for someone who grew up to know hate.

And then Darry, strong Darry. He was so young and yet so old. Maturity was forced on him, having to raise Sodapop and Ponyboy. Thing is, he doesn't complain about it; it's sacrifice that makes them a family. Darry gives up a lot to raise them, and they know it. Sodapop, his happiness was so profound that you couldn't help but smile when he was in the room. Then Two-Bit, finding the joke in everything, turning even the worst situations into laughs.

And Steve, I didn't know him all too well. He seemed like the type who was tough but selective. Only really coming through to certain people, like Sodapop. There's definitely something about Steve that everyone misses. Maybe he tries to leave hints, hoping someone will catch them, but they never do. And now I never will.

And Johnny. He seemed like an underdog, but I have faith in him. He won't ever get over his traumas, but I think he could look past them. I really believe that Johnny could be something great. I really do.

The next car I saw would be my dad's, I could feel it. The entire town was dead, perfectly still. Only I was still awake, me and the crickets chirping in the background. It was silent until I heard a familiar sound. The whoosh of tires against pavement, after a long rain. The rain droplets scattering. It had rained in this town earlier that day, I assumed. I could smell dampness in the air. It was peaceful though.

If anything, at least I could die here. It was serene in a morbid way. The tires stopped. I couldn't see out in front of me, so I waited. I wanted to run, but how could I? I had no where to run. Everything was eerily quiet for a few moments-as if time had frozen except for me. My breath was the loudest thing I could hear, my crickets had seemed to fade. But the moments passed and an illusion came to view.

Soon, just a few yards away, my father appeared. He looked dangerous, on a mission. He had come to kill and he wasn't going to leave until he did. It was then that I realized I was scared. I had never been scared of the drunk side of my father- it was mostly the alcohol speaking. But looking at him now, he was cold sober. And he hated me with more passion than he could ever feel for anything else.

There was no hope. I was going to die. Dally was done saving me, Ponyboy couldn't come to the rescue either. I had almost died so many times, and now it was catching up to me. It was time that I stopped being rescued and fended for myself, even if it meant death. My breaths didn't quicken, they got deeper, louder. I could tell it irked him, one more reminder that I was still living. Did I still have time? Where these my last breaths? I didn't know. It was out of my hands.

He walked to me, his eyes crazed and clothes torn. His hands were twitching, ready to strangle.

"Smart kid. Didn't run." He said coldly, smirking. I had nothing to say to him.

Then, he pulled me up close to him, and whispered in my ear, "You may think dying out here's gonna save your little punk friends. You're wrong, I'm gonna kill 'em too. One by one, so they can see each other die. My only regret right now is that none of 'em are here to see you, slowly die." His lips curled into a dark, disturbing smile.

I couldn't believe him, that made me feel like being here was for nothing; it was. It had to be. They had gotten away, they knew how to hide. He would never find them. He wouldn't.

"No." I said. I didn't say it with determination or anything, I was scared stiff. It was a fact, and I said it as a fact. He seemed to understand that, but he didn't want to.

"Problem with you is you never know how to respect your elders." He laughed.

Then he pushed me back, punched my head, and threw me to the ground. I landed on the pavement-hard; I couldn't get up. He kicked me so that I fell from the road onto a ditch next to an empty field. He picked me up out the ditch, and threw me to the ground again. I was kicked until I bled. When I felt him stop, I was grateful, only moments later I realized he was now down beside me. I felt something cold against my throat, a knife.

"Nice and slow." I heard him say. Then a piercing pain shot through my leg. I screamed.

* * *

I had gotten to the town, but not known where to find her. If she was even there. The car was useless now, so I started walking, looking for her. I had my gun and switch with me, ready for anything. That's one thing I learned from the streets, always be ready to fight. Maybe she was hiding out in a barn or something.

Then, I saw a car on the side of the road. It was parked diagonally, and the drivers door was hanging open. The driver was gone. I went up to it and realized it was her dads car. He was here. Had he found her yet? I grabbed my switchblade in instinct, as if he could jump out from the darkness at any second. I had to find her before he did.

That's when I heard a scream, and I knew I was too late.


	12. Help

I wished there was a point where you had experienced so much pain that you were numb, like in all the books. But each punch and kick and stab felt like the first one. I was soaked in my own blood; I couldn't see. For Dally, I thought, for Dally. And Ponyboy. And all of them. They had been beaten around so much, they needed a second chance. I had to give it to them. Some things just have to be the way they are. It's selfish, but I wish I didn't have to die. I wanted to keep loving Dally, I wanted to keep talking to Ponyboy. I didn't want it to end.

My father held the flat side of the blade against my face, "This is what I'm saving for you and your boy, Dallas Winston."

The knife dove into my leg, and instead of pulling it out, it slowly dragged along my thigh. I screamed; the end was coming. His hand slammed my face to the side, against the ground.

"You shut up, now. No one's gonna hear you. No one's coming."

I was past the point of crying, sobbing, I just listened. I knew it was true. It was too late. I wasn't/was no longer going to die, I was dying (now). I felt the blood coming out of my body, I was losing it too fast. I began to feel weaker by the moment. I just lay there, I couldn't even scream anymore, too weak to even scream or move as the knife of my father's hand dug into me, again and again. They were shallower now, done more for hatred than pain. He knew I was going to die no matter what, now he was just trying to make it as painful as possible.

The pain was broken when I heard a voice cry out, "NOOO!"

My heart lifted, only to sink back. He wasn't here; I was dying. My mind had tricked me; a cruel, painful joke. At least I had heard him before I was gone. I lay there as the stabs stopped. I couldn't process anything, I just heard it.

I heard my fathers voice, laughing. "She ain't dead, boy. She's dying. Ain't nothin' you can do about it now. Killing me won't do much."

His laugh echoed through the night, cold and yet full of morbid joy. I was almost dead, he had done what he accomplished to do. His purpose was done, he could die now.

I think then he realized, looking at Dally's face, that he didn't have to kill Dally, or any of them, to destroy them. There are worse things than dying. Watching someone you love die, and knowing it was too late, you couldn't save them. It would kill Dally. And my dad knew that, so he laughed. Then his laugh stopped, and abruptly into a grunt; he had been stabbed.

Then I heard a shot ring out, and the grunting stopped. I heard my father die, and I heard the thud it made as he fell to the ground. I could have smiled: he was gone. But sadness welled in my heart, my father was dead. By then I couldn't feel anything. It was like a light dimmer, slower and slower, I felt myself fading. I wasn't giving in, I was letting go.

And then Dally was next to me, over me. "Dana-no! You're still here, you're still here, you're gonna be okay." He said, trying to convince himself.

I wanted to tell him, no, it won't be okay. But he/it will be. I can die, I can take this. I heard this quote somewhere and now it came back into my mind: "dying's easy, it's living that's hard."

I would take the hardest life to live if it was with Dally. "No...no." His voice started cracking, I could hear his sobs. "I can't lose you." He whispered, stroking my blood-streaked face.

His heart was breaking. I wanted so badly to reach out to him, to touch him one last time, but my energy was gone. I barely had the strength to live.

He yelled out to the world, "SOMEBODY HELP!"

It was a desperate cry, one you make when you know you've got nothing left. His hands held my face, he leaned down and cried into my chest. My eyes were closed, but my heart was still, barely beating. I think he heard it, it gave him some sort of comfort. What a perfect way to die: it hurt, but I was dying in the arms of someone I loved.

There was no better way out. I felt myself letting go; he was here, it was okay now. I wish he knew that, maybe one day he will. My muscles relaxed and the pain started fading away. My already closed eyelids were getting darker. It wasn't black, but it was something. I wasn't dying; I was dead.

* * *

Her head dropped in my hands, empty. I cried out. She couldn't be gone. I looked down at the dead body before me and knew there was nothing I could do here. I got up and ran to the nearest house. There was still hope, there had to be. I rammed on the door until someone answered, sleepily and confused. They saw my frantic face and awoke immediately.

"Help-dead...no, dying...help." I gasped.

He nodded, understanding. And ran to his phone, "Yes, Thomas? It's Patrick. There's this kid at my door, saying someone's dead. We need a doctor. Hurry up, looks pretty shaken up...Ok, thanks."

He hung up the phone and walked back to me. "I just called the town doctor. We may be in the middle of no where, but this guy's good. You're in good hands." He said reassuringly.

"It's not ME!" I yelled. Tears poured down my face.

Then, I heard a car coming down the street. A man got out, wearing his pajamas and holding a medical bag.

He ran over to the man in the house, "What's happened?" He asked.

I led them, sprinting to the field. The man gasped as he saw the scene. Two people dead, one man shot and blood coming from his chest. The other, a young girl, drenched in blood.

"The girl!" I screamed, and he began to approach her dad.

"The guy did this to her. Just save her." I begged.

He didn't question, he just bent down and started pulling things out of his bag. He checked her heart.

"It's not beating." He said. I let a breath out, this couldn't be it.

"I can try to save her, but-"

"JUST DO IT!" I screamed, cutting him off.

The man began pumping her chest, he told me to come over, to breath into her mouth when he told me to. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. She felt so lifeless, but I could bring her back. I breathed into her hollow body, filling her empty lungs. He kept pumping, I kept kissing a dead body. Then, in between pumps, he instructed the other guy to help out. He told him to wrap her legs, and anywhere else he saw puncture wounds, in gauze. And, once he had done that, to call an ambulance. She had lost a lot of blood. He did what he was told and ran back to his house.

I looked down at her face, usually when she slept she looked not peaceful, but happy. Now she was nothing, unfeeling. I had to bring that smile back. I needed to see those beautiful eyes glow again. I don't know how much time passed, we kept doing CPR, but I heard sirens coming closer. Soon, they reached us at the field. They came and took her. I rode in the ambulance. I sat there, in the light she looked worse.

Before I had just seen blood, reflected from the moonlight, now I saw the cuts. One on her leg, long, but not even that. It looked as though it had bursted open, so wide and deep. I had seen a lot of things, I've seen people die in fights, but never this badly. Even my buddies who'd been killed didn't get hurt this bad. Cut in the throat or shot, that was the way it was. With greasers and hoods, if we fought this hard, we didn't fight for pain, we fought for death. These wounds in front of me were meant for a long, painful death. Why had she come her? She knew I'd protect her, I'd do anything for her. Maybe that was why.

They started pumping her heart again, this time with fancy machines and stuff. They unwrapped the gauze and put stuff on her cuts, then rewrapped them.

"Don't...don't let her die." I heard myself say out loud. "We're trying, son."

One said while squeezing a pump that was attached to a tube going down her throat. We got to the hospital. They took her away from me in a rush, leaving me in the waiting room. Maybe minutes, maybe hours later, a doctor came out. His face was unreadable.

"She's in grave condition." As if I didn't know that.

"We've managed to restart her heart, but that's not the problem. She's lost 60% of her blood mass. Unless we get blood into her soon, she will die." The last three words sunk into me.

"I have blood, take mine." I said.

He shook his head, "It's not that easy. But that man, the dead one, he has her same blood type."

They had taken him too, in another ambulance. I nodded, "They're related."

He seemed pleased by this, "We can use his blood."

He said, then turned and marched quickly down the hall. I waited more. I wanted to see her, but she was in surgery, blood transfusion or something. I saw a pay phone and remembered about the gang. I still remembered my cousins number, I usually had to call him real quick before taking off to his place. I dialed the number and let it ring.

After four rings, someone picked up.

"Hello?" Someone said sleepily.

"Hey, man, it's Dal." I said.

"Dally? Where are ya bud?" It was Soda, "Man, we've been missin' you, everythin' ok?" He asked.

"No." Was all I could say.

"Wait, what? What happened? Are you in jail?" He asked quickly. I could hear the rest of the gang in the background, asking what had happened.

"Well I'm 'bout to find out, so shut your traps." Soda snapped at them.

"Look, I don't even know. Dana's...she's in the hospital. Critical condition, I don't know the term. Her dad...he, uh, he tried to...to kill her." I managed.

Soda gasped, and choked a little, "She gonna be ok?" I heard Pony in the background, yelling above the rest, "What happened? Is she ok? What happened, Soda?" He yelled desperately.

"Look," I said, "I'll explain more later. How long will it take all ya'll to get out to the Hinton hospital?"

"Uh...45 minutes, I guess."

"Okay. Get over here."

"Okay." And he hung up.

* * *

Sodapop hung up the phone and turned to the gang members. All of their faces were filled with worry and anticipation.

"What happened?" Ponyboy burst out, desperation echoing through the silence.

Soda opened his mouth, but the words would not come. He closed his mouth again. Ponyboy loved her, he couldn't handle this.

"What happened?" Ponyboy shrieked, lurching forward and grabbing Sodapop by the shoulders.

In his eyes, Soda saw fear. He couldn't handle knowing, but he couldn't handle not knowing.

Sodapop pushed Ponyboy off of him and said, "Dally's with her, sorta. He didn't say much. They're at the hospital. She's hurt, real bad. Her dad..." He trailed off.

Ponyboy's face turned stone cold. "What did he do?" He said flatly.

Darry looked at Soda, wondering if Ponyboy should hear this. "He, tried...to, ah..." He couldn't say it.

Darry's face was full of concern now, Ponyboy looked scared. The rest of them looked shocked, they hardly knew about her dad. They had seen her scars, sure, but they didn't know the full story.

Soda sighed and said, "He tried to kill her."

They all gasped, Ponyboy looked ready to pass out, or murder someone.

Soda got up, "We're going to the hospital now, they're in Hinton."

None of them got up immediately, still taking in everything Soda had told them.

"What else? Is she okay? How bad is she hurt?" Ponyboy yelled.

"I don't know Pony! That's all Dally told me, he said he'll explain more when we get there, let's go!" Ponyboy collapsed into sobs.

Darry came up to him and put his arms around him, and led him to the car. They all piled in, the rest got in Dally's cousins' car. He didn't care much whether they took it or not, didn't care much about anything really. Darry stayed with Ponyboy, comforting him.

"No...she can't, she can't...it can't..." Ponyboy gasped between sniffles and sobs. He wiped his hand on his nose, and Darry held him.

His strong arms gave Ponyboy security. "She's still alive, Pony, she's a fighter. You know that, she's gonna fight." Darry said to him.

The cars were going as fast as they could, but all was calm in the backseat, where Darry and Ponyboy sat, Two-Bit was driving. In the other car, Soda's eyes never left the road. Steve looked a little confused, he didn't know her too well, but he still cared what happened to her. She was the only person who had ever humanized Dally, and there's something to be said for that. Johnny looked like he always did, frightened and scared.

Only this time it wasn't for him. Two-Bit didn't say a word, he didn't know her very well either. But hearing Darry talk to Ponyboy like that, he knew there was something to her. Ponyboy felt things, it was Ponyboy, and she sure made him feel something. This was more than friendship, Two-Bit realized, this was bond, this was love. It was like what the gang had, he thought. They loved each other, they were buddies.

If one of them died tonight, they'd all be like Ponyboy was now. They were all numbers in the equation, if one number was missing, you couldn't get the total. She's one of us, Two-Bit thought, she's another number. Now we equal something else now. And that wasn't a bad thing, not at all. They now had a new total, it made them who they were. We can't lose her, he thought.


	13. Wait

I can't lose her, Dally thought. He had never cared about anyone. Except for Johnny, Johnny was always getting kicked around. He was a good kid, he never did anything to deserve that. Someone needed to treat him right. That's probably why I like Dana too, he thought. She was kicked around, just like Johnny. They both pretended like it didn't happen, except when it did. She broke down easily, but at the same time acted like everything was "okay". It's not okay now, Dally thought bitterly. She was barely hanging on. The doctor said it could go either way. He said she was fighting, and that it might be too late for her.

"But," The he had said, "I'm a doctor, I've seen miracles." There was still doubt in his voice. "

Ain't no such thing." Dally had grunted.

The doctor had looked at Dallas with knowledge you can only get from experience.

"Whether they're real or not, if she hadn't been fighting so hard to stay alive, she'd have been dead back at the field, boy. She's fighting for something."

Dally thought that over. Who, or what, was she fighting for? Did it matter, so long as she still had a chance? He didn't like this, not knowing. He had sat there for hours, barely moving.

For hours they worked on her, so close to dying and just barely living. But her heart was beating, breath was coming from her lips. He smiled, the warmth was probably back in her face now. Her lips were probably warm now. It hurt to think of that. His lips could still feel hers, they still felt the coldness on them. He wanted to kiss her mouth, and for her mouth to kiss him back. He wanted her to live, so badly.

The guys showed up, looked shocked and worried. But Ponyboy; he looked broken. Darry had to lead him into the building. Ponyboy never looked up, buried in his chest, sobbing. They all looked at Dally, waiting for an answer.

But Dally just looked at Ponyboy and said, "It's ok, Pony."

Ponyboy sniffled, still crying, and looked up at Dally. A new expression had taken over his face- hope gleamed in his eyes. "What-what happened?" Ponyboy asked.

Darry's grip around Ponyboy tightened, bracing for the blow. "I don't know all of it. When she and I went to look for you, Pony, we went in different directions. She looked real weird about somethin' so I followed her. She got on the bus to Hinton, but I couldn't stop her. I looked all night for a car to jack, got one eventually. I drove to the town and found her dad's car. I heard her scream..."

His mind went back to just a few hours ago. That scream would haunt him forever. Every time she'd look at him, smiling with her warm, brown eyes, he'd hear that scream. Every time he'd hold her, he'd hear it. If she made it...which she would. She had to.

The hope faded from Ponyboy's eyes again and a new batch of tears erupted from his eyes. Normally, Pony was real good 'bout not cryin' and all that. Soda had said he cried at home, only if he had to, like when their parents died. Ponyboy was tough, or at least he could pretend to be, but this really broke him. He couldn't hold it back, not this time. He loves her, Dally realized.

They all sat there for the next two hours. All they heard was Darry's comforting words, and Ponyboy's sobs. A loud echoing entered the sound waves, disturbing their thoughts. They all looked up to see a man in a white coat, facing Dally, it sounded like they'd talked before. They all held their breath.

"The blood transfusion went well, she's slowly gaining consciousness." They all breathed sighs of relief, but Dally and Ponyboy didn't. How could they possibly be happy, relieved, that she was in such a state?

"But you should know, this won't be a quick recovery. She'll have trouble moving for the next few months. Where are her parents?" He asked.

Dally gave him an icy stare, "She doesn't have any." Not anymore, not ever.

"She's with us." Darry said.

Darry had such a charismatic essence to him that the doctor took his answer. "She should be fully conscious in the next hour, and if she looks better, she'll be allowed to have visitors." He walked away.

"How bad?" Darry asked. They all looked at me, Ponyboy's eyes told Dally that everything was riding on his answer. Just a few words could give him all the hope he needed, and just a few words could crush him.

But it had to be said, "Bad." Dally answered dully. "She's bad."

They left it at that. Ponyboy looked fallen. He didn't cry though, he'd cried all the tears out of his body, he had none left.

"I hate this." He mumbled.

Nobody said anything. I stayed there, leaning against the wall now, and just stared. I didn't know how to feel things in front of them. Before she came along, I just didn't feel anything. I was empty and worthless, she's given my life value. Everything is just irony. She loved, but was never loved, she gets hurt and says its ok, and yet if Dally had even gotten a paper cut she'd have cried. She cared so much, too much, for Dally and Ponyboy. She didn't seem to really care about her well being, so selfless. So someone had to care for her, pick up the pieces. That's what Dally and Ponyboy were for. They'd always be there, to pick up the pieces. Especially now.

The doctor came back again, "She's conscious." He said.

"You can go see her now." He said to Dally.

Dally got up and followed him to her room, which was in a special section of the hospital; critical condition.

"Brace yourself, she's pretty banged up." The doctor said, motioning to the door. Dally opened it, and closed it behind him. And there she was.

* * *

Her entire body looked so beaten, and yet her eyes sparked with something, happiness. He stopped and stared at her, gaping. It looked worse now than it had in the ambulance, in the field. Now there were bright lights exposing her deep cuts and bruises, though they had cleaned the blood off of her. She looked weak, after losing all the blood.

Dana looked back at him, her mouth open, her eyes wide and glassy with tears. Her leg, the one stabbed badly, was bandaged heavily. She had parts of her arms wrapped in thin lines of gauze, small stab wounds probably. He couldn't move. A tear fell from her eye and he came to her instantly, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Why?" He whispered.

The tear slowly slid down her face as she answered weakly, "I had to."

He looked confused, but she was too weak to explain; there was time for that later. Then he noticed something on her neck; she quickly realized what he was looking at.

"It's nothing, I promise." She said softly, referring to the long shallow cut across her throat.

His eyes went from shock to anger. They were bulging as his hands formed into fists. She saw his pain and pitifully put her hand over his.

"It's okay, it's okay now." She promised him.

The fists loosened, and his eyes were now full of agony. "I let this happen." He admitted as he looked at the bruises and cuts up and down her arm.

"No, please don't say that." She begged quietly.

"If you hadn't been there-" She stopped, not knowing what to say.

"You would've died." Dallas' voice cracked as he spoke.

She almost did die; she had died. She had been dead, he had kissed her dead lips. But they had revived her. She looked down, almost ashamed.

"I had to." She sobbed.

"No, hey, you didn't." Dally said softly.

Her hand was still on his, and he used his free hand to lift her head. Their eyes met.

"You never had to. I don't know what happened, but you didn't have to run."

Her eyes filled with pain, "But I did." She said quietly.

"Look, tell me later, I can wait." Dallas said.

Her eyes looked into his, both of their eyes were filled with such pain. That night, both of them had almost lost each other. Imagine the torment: trying to live on while the one you loved had died so violently, or dying violently and leaving the one you loved behind.

A nurse came in to give Dana pain medicine. She was reluctant to take it, because it was the kind that knocked you out. But Dallas made her, he couldn't bear her being in any more pain. She took it, and a few minutes later, her eyes closed. The nurse left the room.

Dallas looked at her, her hand still lay over his. Her body no longer felt cold, but now a warm heat pulsed through her. Her lips looked warm again, there was color in her face. God, she was beautiful. He leaned down and kissed her. Feeling her lips, warm again, gave him some kind of peace. She would never be hurt again. Not by anybody, or anything.


	14. Scars

Dally stayed in the room with her for a while as she slept, looking so peaceful now. Her lips were formed in a small smile. Eventually, he remembered all the guys out in the lobby. He reluctantly left her to tell them how she was.

Ponyboy stood up immediately, "How is she?" He asked quickly. They all looked up expectedly.

"She's sleepin' now." Dally said. "She looks real bad, can't sit up or nothin', but the doctor said she'll be ok after a while." It wasn't what Ponyboy had wanted to hear, but it was the truth.

"When's she gonna wake up?" Ponyboy asked.

Dally shrugged, "Few hours, I don't know, I ain't no doctor."

Dallas flopped down onto the floor, and sat leaning against the wall next to Two-Bit, who was in a chair. Two-Bit turned to him and said quietly, "Look, man, I'm real sorry all this happened to you-and her."

"She's gonna be ok." Was all Dally could think of to say. "Yeah, man. She's gonna be ok." Two-Bit repeated.

"How did this happen?" Sodapop said, bursting into their conversation.

Dally looked up at him, "I don't know, said somethin' 'bout her dad and all. Looked too tired too explain it n' all." Soda thought this over, probably coming up with his own theories on the event.

Pony came over and sat next to Dallas. "How come she's always gettin' hurt by everyone?" Ponyboy asked him.

Dally turned and looked at Ponyboy. His eyes were wide and full of fear; he didn't look like a greaser. The kid was so young, what was he doin' on the streets? He was real smart- in all the top classes in school and all. Pony could really be something someday, Dally thought, he feels things. He felt pain when the rest of us learned to overcome it, or just pretended like we had. Pony tried to act tough, but he couldn't help feeling things.

The streets hadn't toughened him yet, he still hadn't seen enough. Dally had seen too much, things a grown man shouldn't see. When he lived in New York, Dally hung out with some rough hoods. Even at the age of ten, they let him hang out with them, they could tell he was tough. It got bad though, when they got in fights with other gangs. Greasers usually pulled out their switches, but never really hurt anyone too badly. The people who practically raised Dally stabbed people without thinking twice.

* * *

At ten years old, Dally had seen his friends murder countless numbers of people. He'd seen their victims eyes as the pain hit them, and the look of triumph in his friends' faces. They were proud- another life on their death list, another accomplishment. At first, it had been so foreign to Dally. He was scared of them a little, but he knew how to act. Soon enough, it had become natural to him. He stopped looking at people's eyes, he no longer cared. But the worst part was when a group of them got busted.

They all were out one night, and the leader figured they could jack a car and go grab some chicks. They picked the wrong car that night, stealing a real tuff-looking Cadillac. They were driving, all whoopin' and hollerin', full of adrenaline, when they heard sirens. They tried to keep cool, but the police cars were right behind them. The leader, who was driving and buzzed as hell, sped as fast as he could, but the police had set out spikes on the road. The tires burst and the car flew across the road, flipping the car over.

Dally found out later that the car had belonged to some big shot, a banker or something. But because Dallas was so young, he got a shorter sentence than normal. He had been charged with auto theft and possession of weapons (three guys had guns, the rest had switches). Dallas had gotten a year and a half sentence, the judge felt real bad for him. The rest of the guys were still in jail, in their mid-twenties now.

The minute he got out, Dally left town. His parents, who never really did much for him, had moved to Oklahoma while he was in jail. They told him not to bother them, but they'd let him crash. He figured he'd go there for a while, but there he first met Two-Bit Matthews, the funniest kid he'd ever met. From there, he met Darry and Sodapop, and the whole gang. They thought he was real tough, and he liked that. He bragged about being in jail and living in New York, but he never told anyone about the death he'd seen there. How he saw the hood leaders eyes that night of the car accident, he looked real scared. Dally knew he hadn't wanted to die, no matter how many lives he'd taken.

The guy just wanted a second chance, any chance at all, really. But a few short moments later he was gone, and the fear was wiped off of his face. Dallas would never forget that night, as long as he lived. The sound of the collision and cars screeching kept him from sleeping some nights-the moment his eyes closed he'd see the dark night sky in the backdrop of the crash. Dally always drove cars fast-he didn't want to be in them longer than he had to. Nobody knew about that crash, not what it was to Dally; not even Dana.

She had too many problems to think about his; he didn't blame her. Dally'd only ever seen death, she'd near experienced it. That leader guy, though- his name was Rob. Rob was a real tough guy- he'd grown up kinda like Dally had. Fighting was all he knew, never seemed real happy unless he was fightin' with somebody. You had to respect him though, he was smart. He knew how to act around the cops, he knew where to hide when they were tryin' to bust you. He just knew things. Dally used to think that he could really be something one day, but after a while he realized he never would be. Either Rob would die a hood, or he'd grow old as a hood.

Some people just don't change. Maybe it's 'cause they don't want to, maybe ol' Rob liked bein' a hood. He was raised tough; the guy didn't know what else to be. That face though- that was what stopped Dally every time. What had he been thinking? Dally had been in the backseat- only one buckled. They were tough, but they knew he was a young kid, told him to buckle his seatbelt and all that. When Dally turned to look at him, his face had frozen for a moment. Rob didn't look scared, no; he looked terrified. For that one moment, as he realized the car was coming straight at him, Dally saw him. Rob knew he was about to die, he knew it. He didn't want to, that was what killed Dally every time. He never wanted to die. Barely a second passed, and his face changed from terrified to acceptance.

Young Dally saw Rob close his eyes and clench his teeth, bracing himself. He had accepted his death in a short moment, he was preparing himself to die. His muscles were tensed, and then the car hit him. Dally couldn't even blink as he saw it crush his friend. Rob had instinctively thrown his arms in front of his face. Pain had escaped Rob's face as his eyes gaped and his mouth opened. And then the pain stopped, and he died. The car had been hit by an oncoming truck, which had collided with them as they spun across the road.

Some nights, Dally'd wake up in cold sweat, wondering why. Then he'd realize he'd been dreaming about that night. It still scared him, death and all. Why did people have to die? He'd always heard in tacky songs on the radio that everything that's supposed to happen will happen. Was Rob supposed to die? He sure wasn't innocent, but he didn't deserve to die. No one does. Innocent people die too, like she almost did. Why? Why were they meant to die, or was it just some mess-up? Rob shouldn't have died.

When Dally was in jail, all he thought about were those few moments. He began to hate the world, sitting in his cell. It shouldn't be like this, we should have second chances. He hated the world for taking away those chances. When he got out, he'd been hardened beyond almost anything. He didn't feel anything anymore, once you experience so much pain eventually it fades away and everything else becomes numb. He was numb until he met Dana, and he started to feel things again. He'd never loved anyone; heck, he'd never even see love before. His parents sure didn't love each other, they just kind of dealt with each other.

Then in New York nobody felt anything; he didn't know _how_ to love someone. Ponyboy's face looked real scared right then-like Dally'd seen on peoples faces before. He hoped Ponyboy wouldn't turn out like him, hard and mean. But Dana brought back the innocence that used to be there. She made Dally remember back when he felt things, when he looked into people's eyes. He had always thought he was hopeless, in a way, hardened to the point where you couldn't go back. If there was one thing he'd learned from her, it was everyone gets a second chance. She had given him his.

* * *

Dallas turned to Ponyboy and said, "She's always gettin' hurt 'cause someone needs to save her, Pony. That's us."

"I don't wanna have to save her, I want her to be ok."

"She is now, buddy, she's ok now."

"She's gonna have scars."

"He cut her pretty bad...I know."

Ponyboy looked down, "No, that's not what I mean. She ain't never gonna forget this, you just can't erase stuff like this. It haunts you and changes you...it's scary..." Ponyboy trailed off.

Dally saw tears well up in his eyes, and Ponyboy turned away so he wouldn't see him crying.

Dally never thought about the Curtis brothers' parents, how they died and all. Guess it haunted them too; they died almost same way as Rob, in a car crash. It was true, she could never forget this night. But Dally knew he would help her move on, like he had.


	15. Silence

I had fallen asleep with Dally holding my hand. I thought I would never see him again, and then suddenly he was there. In a way, I almost wish I was dead. I never once doubted that I was going to die that night. I kind of wanted to die, for Dally and Ponyboy. I think it would've been a good way to go, for someone that you loved. Picture this, what would you rather: Dying for someone you loved or watching someone you loved die. I could die for Dally and Ponyboy, I really could. But if either of them had died, I wouldn't know how to live. It's like once you get a taste of something, it takes over your mind.

You _have_ to have it, and when it's gone you can't function. I needed them, and maybe they needed me. I just couldn't get used to the idea of living now, how was normal life supposed to go on after this? He killed my dad. My dad almost killed me. I don't really know what to think of that. So dad was dead; it was a neutral, blank feeling. He could never hurt me, physically, anymore but there would always be hurt. And no matter what, he was still my dad. At some point in my life he had loved me, I am sure of it.

Maybe when I was just born, a little baby, and he held me. Maybe then he loved me, but I'll never know. I don't know if my mom ever loved me, she just pretended like I didn't exist if she could help it. She was always ignoring things: dad's alcoholism, his beatings, my life. I probably have to tell her at some point that dad, her husband, was dead. I don't know if she'd care or not, he'd never really done anything for her.

They married for each other's money, my mom's parents were filthy rich, and my dad's family is all old money. Money is nothing to me. It's ironic how people who grow up wealthy don't think money matters in life, while people in poverty strive for it. Money was just something my parents gave me when dad got too violent or drunk, something to distract me. I used most of it to buy books and stuff, like Romeo and Juliet.

The money for that came from one night when my dad was really buzzed and he had pinned me down to the floor, choking me. My mom had run in and started yelling at him, it distracted him and he started yelling at her. Soon enough he passed out cold on my floor, I had to push him out onto the hallway. My mom just looked at him on the floor and turned to me, and handed me about 60 bucks. I was crying, but her face stayed blank. She watched me cry, and then walked away. That made me sob even more. I had stepped over my father's body and closed my bedroom door, locked it, and silently sobbed through the night.

I woke up in my hospital room, I had to blink because everything was a bright white; I hated it. Outside the window it was pitch black outside, a clock on the wall read 10:00 p.m. I called for a nurse and asked her if I could use a phone. She told me when I felt better I could use one, I protested saying it was important. She explained that they only had pay phones for patient use, and I couldn't even sit up yet. I hadn't thought much about the pain or my injuries. I kept most of myself covered up with the thin white sheets. Sure it hurt, but I could live; I did live. That in itself was kind of a miracle.

* * *

"Hey..." I heard coming from the door as it opened. I had my eyes closed, and opened them to see Ponyboy standing awkwardly just inside the closed door.

"Hey, come on in." I invited. "You sure? Did I wake you up?" He asked cautiously.

"Yeah I'm sure, I wasn't asleep anyway." I said assuringly.

Since I couldn't sit up too well, they had propped me up with pillows at a 45 degree angle, except at night when I slept. He slowly sat down in the chair Dally was in earlier, scanning me for injuries.

"What...what happened?" He finally spit out.

"I-I don't know. It's hard to explain, but everything's ok now." Was all I could say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His eyes filled with pain as he spoke these words. With eyes like that, you can't help but tell the truth.

I let out a breath, sinking into the bed, and admitted my lies. "I knew my dad was coming for me. I had visited him in the jail-he said he was gonna kill me when he got out. And then when he did...I told Darry and Soda that the police were after the gang so they would run."

He looked confused, "What does the gang have to do with it?"

I lowered my eyes, shame creeping into my conscience. "He was my dad, Ponyboy, he knew how to hurt me. He told me he'd kill all of you. He said he'd kill Dally in front of me, just to see my pain. And then he'd kill me. I told Darry to leave so he wouldn't find any of you."

"But you could've run with us." Ponyboy sounded flustered, like he was trying to find the logic in my actions.

I shook my head, "He would've found me, trust me on that Ponyboy. With that, he would've found all of you. I knew we had to be separated. Either I died or you all did with me."

"You were going to die for us?" His voice cracked.

"I couldn't let him hurt you!" I cried.

"But I let him hurt you." Ponyboy's eyes, always his eyes, filled with tears and he lowered his head.

"No, you didn't. Believe me Ponyboy, you didn't. You're the only reason I'm living today, you've saved me so many times."

"I haven't done anything, Dally's been the hero."

"Dally and you will always be my heroes. You were always there Ponyboy, and you always will be. And I'll always be there for you, you know that."

"But you almost left me behind." His voice quivered.

By then I had started crying, tears falling down my face. "Please...don't say that. It was the only way. You've got a lot to live for, Ponyboy, you're gonna be somebody great someday."

"I ain't got nothin' if you're not here."

I smiled and more tears filled my eyes, "Gosh, what would I do without you?" I asked.

He smiled shyly, "Aw, shucks, not much." I giggled and he smiled a little, loosening up.

I was glad he didn't comment on my injuries, which was what all Dally did now. He couldn't stand me being hurt, sometimes it seemed like it hurt him more than it hurt me. Love conquers all, doesn't it? Love conquers pain. I've learned that. I don't think Dally has.

I could only be physically hurt so much, cuts heal and bruises fade away. But hurting someone, breaking their heart, never leaves them. Sure, maybe one day they get over you, but they can never forget the times you two kissed or how much it hurt to have you break their hurts. You just can't forget a heartbreak.

You know that saying? It's something like: you can't break me because I wasn't whole to start with. Well I was broken, and Dally filled me. He almost eliminated the past, or at least made it seem less important. With my parents I was either remembering the nights before, when my dad got really drunk, or dreading the night coming up. With Dally I lived in the now. I loved him right then and I want him right now. I don't think there's one specific definition for love, it's different for everyone.

For me, love is loving in absolute and loving someone because you both needed each other in your lives. Without the other, you were incomplete. When Dally looked at me I knew he needed me. He never opened up much, but I knew pain behind his eyes. There was always a pain, hidden there. I want to know why he is the way he is; what pain has he felt before? When his strong arms held me, it felt like he'd never let go, and I never wanted him to. The night I waited for my dad to come, all I wanted right then was to be held by Dally. I could die in his arms.

Even in death, I felt safe there. He would never let me get hurt. I couldn't be hurt when he held me; I was too happy. God, I love him.

"I still don't get it...why'd you run away?" Ponyboy asked me. His fiery eyes turned onto mine, guilt burning through me.

"I told you, he would've killed all of you. It's too much to ask for."

"Dally said you almost died." Ponyboy whispered.

I blinked, trying to fight off the tears that were budding in my eyes. "It doesn't matter what almost happened, I'm still here."

"But you were so close to death. Weren't you scared?" He asked curiously.

"Of course, scared out of my mind."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"It's something worth dying for." I said. He still seemed confused so I explained, "Look at it like this: one life is a pretty small price to pay to save at least seven others."

"Don't ever do that again." He burst out, tears erupting from his face. I started crying, seeing him like this, it hurts so bad.

I tried to sit up, but a gasp escaped my lips. I cringed and settled back onto the pillows.

"Are you ok?" He asked immediately, ready to help.

"No, I'm fine, I promise."

Tears were slower now, steadily falling down his cheeks. "I thought I lost you."

"I love you, Ponyboy."

"I know. I love you too, you can't leave me again."

The tears that had decreased now flowed heavily from his eyes. Ponyboy never cried, if he could help it. He told me once, "Greasers never cry, not unless something's really cracked us."

"No, Ponyboy, I never will. I'm so sorry." I whispered the last sentence, looking into his green-brown eyes.

He took my hand and squeezed it, I squeezed back; neither of us let go. We heard footsteps and the nurse came in, to give me my pills. I hadn't said anything, but trying to sit up hurt more than I showed. The pain still pierced through my torso, making it even harder to move. Thankfully I had to take the pills every hour or so. Ponyboy half smiled as I took them, and slowly fell to sleep. His hand was still holding mine.

* * *

And so Ponyboy sat there, holding her hand, long after she had fallen asleep. His body shook with the thought of her dying, being dead. He propped his elbows on his knees, and put her hand to his forehead. He breathed in and out slowly. This was almost more painful than when he lost his parents, he had been so young then.

The memories had begun to fade lately, but he still remembered the little things. Driving out to the country, homemade dinners, things like that. He also remembered the night they died. He, Darry, and Soda had been playing football in their yard. Their parents had gone out somewhere for dinner or something.

As Ponyboy tackled Soda, the phone rang. Darry had leaped up and ran inside to get the phone. Ponyboy and Soda continued playing, until after a while they noticed Darry hadn't come back out of the house. They went inside, and heard his sobs echoing through the empty halls. They ran to him in alarm, Darry was sitting in the chair, the phone hanging from the cord off the side of the table. His face was in his hands, but they could see the tears streaming from his face. Ponyboy hadn't known what to think, and Soda dropped to his knees on the floor, putting his hand on Darry's back.

"What happened?" He asked cautiously. Through his sobs Darry looked up. That face was one Ponyboy could never forget. He seemed so broken.

"Mom...Dad...dead...car." Was all Darry managed to say before the tears overpowered his face, and he sank back into crying.

Soda froze, was this real? Somehow, they all got to the hospital, where their parents had been taken. The nurses told them that their parents had been driving across train tracks with the radio on, and they hadn't heard the oncoming train. It hit them full on, and they had died immediately. Darry told them he was 22, and they believed him even though he was a few years younger than that. He looked old, with his muscles and all.

They all had gone back to their house and spent the next few weeks or so in isolation. Each one in their own form, Darry started to fidget with things. His hands always had to be moving, to take his mind off of things. Sodapop didn't go home a lot, maybe it reminded him of the family he had, compared to the family he had lost.

He just walked around town, doing nothing. Ponyboy had locked himself inside his room, staring at the walls. Some nights he'd sneak out his window, just to get out of the house. It sickened him, what they'd become. Forms of nothing but sadness. That was the first time he saw a sunset. He had walked over to the lot to get a smoke; the beauty of it took him away. He sat and stared until it was pitch black.

Eventually, he went back to his house, they hadn't noticed he'd left, because they didn't notice when he was there. He went back to see the sunset every night, it gave him hope. They made him realize that there was still beauty in the world, even after death. And a constant he could always depend on was the sun setting, that would never change. He still watched them, they still have him hope.

* * *

Ponyboy sat in the chair next to Dana's hospital bed for what felt like little time, but the lights seemed to get darker. He realized the window was open and the sun had set, it was night. Her hand was still on his forehead, he stayed sitting there. He heard footsteps coming down the hall, and the door opened. Sodapop walked behind him, and put his arm on his back.

"Hey, buddy," Soda whispered to Ponyboy.

"She's gonna be fine." Ponyboy stayed in his position but whispered back, "She said she loved me."

He squeezed her hand a little tighter.

Soda sighed, "Sure she loves you, Pony, she loves you. But not like that."

Ponyboy was silent, he already knew this. It was a truth he often tried to avoid. She couldn't love him, she loved Dallas. Dallas Winston, the rebel, the tough greaser. Why not Ponyboy?

"Come on." Soda said quietly, putting his hand on his brother's shoulders, leading him out of the room, both of their heads bowed.

* * *

The weeks slowly passed, little things happening along the way. Dally, kissing her; her, kissing Dally. Things like that. At the very least, she could sit up and walk now. It still hurt, but she could do it. The bruises had begun to fade. They were still purple, but a little less pronounced now. They didn't hurt as much. The doctors told her she could leave the next day, and now it was evening.

* * *

They gave me the last round of pain medicine, and I fell asleep quickly. The moment I woke up the next morning I was ready to leave. Dally was there, waiting for me. The nurses gave me new clothes, as my old ones were ruined. He smiled when he saw me, and embraced me closely, but very gently. He was so cautious with me now, as if I could break if he so much as poked me too hardly. We drove back to the Curtis house, I was eager to get back into my own bed again. The car parked on the street and we got out.

As we entered the house, Two-Bit ran up to us. He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. I giggled a little at his openness, but cringed at the pain of the bruises.

"Hey- lay off." Dally said, pushing him off me, "She still got bruises."

Two-Bit's eyes widened, "Oh jeez! I'm sorry- I didn't know!"

"It's fine, really, I'm fine." I assured him.

After that, Dally put his arm protectively around me, warding off everyone else. They all smiled cautiously, glad to see me feeling better. I couldn't help but grin with bittersweet happiness; I had thought I would never see them again, and here they were. Ponyboy saw me and gave a small smile, understanding that Dallas was in his protective mode.

They all tried to act normal, which I appreciated. Darry cooked dinner and Soda cleaned the dishes, just like it used to be. Later on, the whole gang drifted off. Two-Bit, Soda, and Steve headed out to town, and shortly after Darry fell asleep on the couch. Eventually Johnny slowly started to make his way home, until Ponyboy rescued him and suggested they go hang out at the lot.

All was silent as Dally and I were left sitting around in the house. I was spacing out when I saw the phone sitting on the table, and I remembered.

"I have to tell my mom." I told Dally.

He came over next to me, without saying anything, and slipped his arm around me. I breathed and dialed the number she had given me; I had it memorized. It rang twice before someone picked up.

"Hello?" My mother's voice asked, sounding bored.

"Hey-mom, it's me." I said quietly.

Dally took his free hand and held mine, I turned to him and smiled, then turned back to the phone, where my mom had paused.

"Oh." She breathed.

"Look, mom...dad's dead." I said it, there was no way to sugarcoat it, he was dead and that was it.

She made a small choking sound, I squeezed Dally's hand, he squeezed back. "Why...wh-what happened?" She managed to spit out.

"He...I don't know. It's a long story." I said.

"How did he die?" She asked.

I breathed out, and looked at Dally. He looked at me back. From him I got the confidence to speak.

"He broke out of jail and tried to kill me, mom, and someone saved me. He's dead now." She wouldn't care that he had tried to kill me, I knew that.

"Your father was murdered." She said blankly.

"No-not like that. He was gonna kill me." I practically begged her to understand, but she couldn't; she wasn't the kind of person who loved.

I felt Dally's head rest on my shoulders, his signal to me that he felt pain as I said this. Then her voice broke through the line again, she sounded confused.

"Okay...bury him and let that be it. Don't call me again." The phone went dead.

I burst into tears. Dallas turned me to face him, and pulled me into his arms. I cried into his chest as he held me close. I realized that was probably the last time I'd ever talk to my mother again, there was no reason for me to call her again. It was almost a feeling of being alone, but someone was there. He wasn't family, Dally was better than that. But here I was, at sixteen, with one dead parent and the other leaving me behind. It scared me to think what I'd be if I didn't have Dally. He held my head to his chest, his strong hands felt warm. Soon the tear flow slowed and I look up to him.

"She said not to call her. I'm never gonna talk to my mom again." It sounded stupid, but he understood, he always did.

He didn't say anything but he didn't have to, just looking at him and feeling him I started to feel better. I put the phone back on the receiver and we went to 'our' room. I sat on the bed, leaning against the wall; he did the same.

"You never told me the full story." He said.

It pained me, but he had to know. I told him everything, every last detail. By the end he was holding me close to him, as if realized just how close he was to losing me. Or, for me, how close I was to losing him.

"I would have saved you, you should have told me." Dally said.

I could look him in the eyes, I stared down at my hands.

"I know you would've, that's why I didn't tell you."

His held me closer, "Why?"

I sighed, "You would've saved me, Dally. My dad didn't just tell me he was gonna kill me- he was gonna kill all of you too. He was gonna kill you in front of me."

The memory of my father's words made me pause, silently grateful that Dally was still alive and with me.

"I could handle him, you know that." I shook my hand, "When he's drunk, yes. But he's a full grown man, and when he's set on something he really wants it. He would've killed you or anyone in the way in an instant. It was to save _you_." I said.

"I couldn't live without you." I knew Dally wouldn't like me saying that, I think he kind of liked playing hero. "And what about me, huh? You think I'd be fine if you died?" I knew the answer, but I said, "I know, but you would've been alive, breathing."

"But you wouldn't have been."

"Sacrifice."

"No."

I looked at him confusedly. "Never, ever, do anything like that again. I thought you were dead. You...you _were_ dead." Dallas admitted, his voice breaking and he seemed barely able to say the last word. "What?" I asked.

His eyes bore onto mine, "Technically, you died. Your heart stopped beating. You were brought back, though. But for a few minutes, I didn't have you."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. "Don't...just, love." He said quietly to me, trying to figure out what to say.

"I'll never leave you again."

I looked at him, "I'll never let you."

He held me, so close. He kissed the scar on my cheek, and slowly made his way to my mouth. There, we kissed with all the fervency we had. Tonight, we didn't have sex. In an ironic way, we were too intimate for that. We kissed and drifted to sleep in each others arms. From there, my dreams faded in and out.

Until then I started thinking about my dad, and my dreams began to dissolve. I dreamed that he hadn't killed me, that he had found Dallas first. I was there, but somehow I couldn't get to him. I had to watch helplessly as Dallas was being killed by my father. He seemed unable to fight back, taking every punch or stab. I woke up with a start, I gasped and quickly sat up in bed. Dally felt me awaken and woke up too.

"What's wrong?" He murmured, sitting up also.

"Nothing, it's nothing...bad dreams." I said quietly.

He smiled a little, and kissed my lips briefly. He put his arms around me and we laid back down.

"It's ok now, I'm here, no one's gonna hurt you." He breathed into my ear. I smiled and once again fell into a deep sleep.


	16. Taken

Sirens interrupted my dreams. I ignored them until I realized they were real, and hastily opened my eyes. It was early morning, the sun had just risen. Dallas still asleep, he could sleep through anything. I looked out the window and saw two police cars driving up the street. I knew they were coming to this house, I just knew it. I heard running footsteps and Darry burst through the door. I turned to face him and we looked at each other in fear. I ran to the bed and shook Dally.

"Dally-wake up!" I said. He grunted and didn't move.

Then Darry shoved him on to the floor, "Get up Dal!"

He landed on the ground with a hard thud, and was jerked awake.

He stood up, rubbing his eyes, "Jeez guys, what's the rush?" He said groggily.

Then he heard the sirens. It was too late, and we heard knocking on the door. I turned to him,

"Hide." I said with wide-eyed fear.

Darry interrupted, saying "You too Dana, they'll be looking for you."

I was confused but didn't argue. Darry told Dallas to go into his room, where he could hide under his bed. He then quickly grabbed me and practically stuffed me under the bed in my room. I laid down and held my breath. Darry answered the door for the police, and they came in.

"Is this the Curtis residence?" A voice asked.

Darry stayed calm, replying "Yes it is."

"We need to search the premises."

"May I ask why?"

"Evidence links you to people involved with a murder."

"What kind of evidence?"

"A gun was found at the crime scene, belonging to a Dallas Winston, and the person murdered was the father of someone connected to you. We know they're here, and you will step aside and cooperate or be taken downtown under the court of law."

I knew Darry hated being told what to do, but he let them search the house. I could hear their footsteps making their way around the house, and I got real scared.

Then I heard a voice yell out, "Boys! I got him! Under the bed!" I gasped, and listened as they grabbed Dallas.

I could hear him trying to make a run for it, but he probably had about five of them on him by now. I wanted to run out from hiding, but what could I do? Then I heard a voice instructing the rest of the policemen to search the rest of the rooms. I heard two or three of them enter my room, their footsteps vibrated the floorboards.

Then I saw a face next to mine, "She's right here!" They called.

I was pulled out from under the bed, and looked out the hallway. I saw Dally, being restricted by six men in uniform, fighting to get free.

He paused when he saw me "Get your hands off her!" He yelled. It was useless. In the background, in the kitchen, I saw Darry standing there; unable to do anything.

Just then Darry stepped forward, "Hey, now, what did she do?" He stood in the doorway.

"Nothing that we can prove at the moment. But we do know that she's a minor living without her parents, and by law we have to put her in a home." The man restricting me said.

I gasped and turned to the man holding my arm, "No! You can't do that!" I exclaimed.

He grinned evilly, "Oh, yes, we can."

Then the men holding Dally started to drag him outside, him fighting all the way. I struggled, but the men's grips on me were steel. They led Dally and I outside, where we were loaded into separate cars. I turned to Dally, he looked at me.

We looked at each other for a brief moment of longing, and then I was pushed into the car.

* * *

The policeman driving took me to some court or something. There, I was lead inside. Still being handled by two men, they took me to a room. The woman sitting there registered me for something, I wasn't listening.

"You're lucky!" She exclaimed, "There are parents available to foster you now. You'll be living with the Frost's, out in Kingfisher county." That was miles, hours, away from Tulsa.

"No! You can't do this!" I screeched. She just smiled empathetically, and I was taken back into the police car.

Could they really do this? So fast? I cried so hard, I had just gotten Dally back. A new fear crept into my mind and the tears came harder. What if they charged him with murder? I was the only one who could testify, me and the ambulance people. Dallas had said something about some farmer and local doctor or something, maybe they could help. I was put on a train immediately, some of the policemen had stayed at the house and packed all of my clothes. I had an escort ride with me on the way there, I rode in silence.

It was late afternoon now, and the sky was dark. The window was down and it smelled like rain. Soon, the thunder came and I fell asleep to the booming sounds in the distance. I was shaken awake by the policeman, and he led me off of the train, which had now stopped at the Kingfisher station. There, a mid-forties couple stood, waiting for me. They led me to their car, which looked fairly middle-class.

As we drove, they didn't say much. I could tell they hadn't taken me in willingly. I heard the woman muttering about how "sisters depend on you for anything", and I guess she was siblings with the woman at the courthouse. That's probably why I got assigned this house so fast. They led me inside a modest looking house, and showed me where my room was. I was told not to use the phone, TV, or any appliances around the house. I just sat there and let them boss me around. I didn't have anything else to do, and it was early evening by now, and so I changed and laid down in the new bed. I hated it, it felt stiff and brand new.

The bed Dally and I shared was soft and comfortable. I had a hard time falling asleep, but not because of the bed. Mostly I couldn't stop thinking about Dally. Is he ok? How is he feeling right now? Will he be alright? He was tough, strong, he could handle jail. But what if he got a life sentence? The thought choked me up, and brought a lump in my throat. Tears welled up in my eyes. No, he wouldn't get that harsh a sentence.

Everything will be ok in the end, it has to be. I just got him back, all of them...Ponyboy! Is he ok? What must he think, he and Soda slept through the whole ordeal. Imagine waking up to hear that your friends have been sent off and dragged to jail. I had just gotten him back too. Oh, Ponyboy. Sweet, honest, Ponyboy. He deserved a better life, he really did. He always seemed to be bitter about being a greaser, not quite fitting in with all of them.

They were all buddies, sure, but Ponyboy was something special. They all were, but they were happy where they were, for the most part. He wanted something bigger, better. He deserved it, absolutely. The countless thoughts in my head made me drift off again, this time it was not a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The early morning woke me, I wasn't used to this. Instead of awaking in the warmth of Dally's arms, everything was cold. I pulled the sheets higher, but they were cold too. Frosty is the word, chilly; I hated it. Then the woman, Mrs. Frost, came into my room.

"Alright, it's sunday, we're going out to church."

She announced, "You can stay here, and you start school tomorrow. You'll be at Kingfisher High for the next few months, until they find somewhere else to stick you." She said with disgust, then marched out of the room.

School? Are you serious? The only good thing I can think of about that is that it'll pass the time, and it seems like I've got a lot of that. I got up and wandered around the house, trying to find something to do. I walked into the TV room when I saw a phone sitting on a coffee table. They had left already, eager to get away from me. I practically skipped to it and quickly dialed Ponyboy's number.

It barely rang once before someone picked up, "Hello?" Darry's familiar voice asked.

I smiled, I couldn't help it. I felt so alone here, it was nice to feel like someone I knew was there. "Hey, Darry, it's me, Dana." I said.

I heard him breathe a sigh of relief, "Oh my god...Dana. How are you? Where are you? Are you doing ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine. They put me in some people's home in Kingfisher."

"Kingfisher?! That's hours away!" I sighed, "I know. I hate this, they're making me go to the school here too."

"Hey, well at least you'll be learning something." He said, I detected a hint of bitterness to his voice.

I remember Ponyboy telling me once that Darry had to drop out of school to get a job for them. "Hey-but listen, how's Dallas?" I asked, holding my breath in anticipation. Was he okay?

Darry let a heavy breath out, "Well...he's still in jail right now. The court date's not for two weeks."

"What are they charging him for?"

"Manslaughter."

I let the breath I had been holding in out, "I can testify, can't I? I was there, it was self-defense."

"I don't see how you can, you being in Kingfisher and all."

"How's he doing, have you visited him?"

"Yeah, me and the guys have gone down a couple a' times. He's keeping cool, you know. He's real worried about you, though. Doesn't know where you are, if you're ok." Darry said.

"Next time you see him, tell him I'm ok, will you do that?" I asked.

"Yeah, no problem." Darry replied.

"And, and can you tell him I love him? And that I'll fix this, promise him I'll fix this." I begged.

"I'll tell him, but you gotta realize there's only so much you can do."

"I know, but I'm gonna do all I can do...Hey- is Ponyboy there?" I asked suddenly.

"Uh...yeah, I think so. Let me check." Darry said, then in the background I heard him yell

"Ponyboy!"

"Pony, phone!"

"Yeah, here he is." Darry said to me.

"Hello?" Ponyboy asked into the phone, confused.

I grinned with relief, "Ponyboy! It's me, how ya been?" I asked happily.

"Hey! Are you ok? Where'd they put ya?" He asked quickly.

"I'm fine, I really am. They sent me to these people's house, in Kingfisher, it ain't so great here but it's not horrible. I miss you guys, real bad."

"We miss you too...god, I miss you." He exclaimed.

"Listen, Dana, I'm gonna get you outta this. We're gonna get you outta this, trust me."

"I don't see how...and I'm not the priority here. I'm in a safe home, Dally's in jail! For murder!" I said.

"Yeah...I know." "I'm gonna testify, I'm gonna be there, I can promise you that." I said determinedly.

"Gosh, I can't believe this all happened. You just got back from the hospital..." He trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. But my dad _was_ killed, they weren't just gonna let that slip by."

"I wish things weren't like this." He admitted.

"Yeah, me too Ponyboy, me too." I sighed.

Just then I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I looked up and realized that they had gotten back from church, Ponyboy and I had talked for over an hour.

"Look, Ponyboy, I gotta go. I'll call you next time I can, they don't let me use the phone. I'll be in touch, I miss you." I said desperately.

He didn't get a chance to respond as I hung up the phone and sprang up from the couch. I practically sprinted to the room they gave me as they walked up the front steps. By the time they entered their house, I was under the sheets again, pretending to be asleep.

"Teens." I heard the man mutter.

I was too full of energy to go back to sleep, something I've been doing a lot lately. I just lay in that stiff, cold bed and looked up at the ceiling. The plain, paste colored walls created a backdrop for my fantasies. I pictured Dally, coming to save me. Dally, getting out of jail. Dally and I kissing, as we ran away from here.

Running away from everything, just him and I. Oh, perfection good not measure to that. Imagine a world, now picture this, where there were no labels. Where you didn't look at someone and immediately write them off as something. Where you saw someone as a person you've yet to get to know.

I've come to learn that everyone has depth, it's just whether or not they show it. It's time we all looked at people like books. You're reading one page now, but before that page there where many pages. Past, mistakes, regrets, loves, all that. And after the page you're reading they're even more pages, blank pages, some written on, some yet to be written. Another fact that people try so hard to ignore, is that all books have an ending, and so do we. So I guess the best thing you, the writer, can do is write a good story.


	17. Witness

I wouldn't spend the rest of my life here, I knew that. I guess that was some small hope I had left to cling to. The town, Kingfisher, seemed odd to me. It wasn't the country, but it wasn't like Tulsa. I guess it was somewhere in the middle. Dinner that night felt extremely awkward. I had gone from silent dinners with my family, to loud ones with the gang, and now I just didn't exist. The Frost's tried as hard as they could to pretend that I didn't exist. If I asked for them to pass the rolls, they would pass them, but they would even so much as glance towards me. They continued on their forced conversation, not really about anything at all. After dinner, I was instructed to get ready for everything tomorrow.

Mrs. Frost told me that the school would give me all of my textbooks the next day and that I could get school supplies there too. I didn't say anything and nodded my head obediently. I laid out my clothes-a pastel skirt and cardigan. Before I went to bed, I braided my hair, so it would be nice and wavy the next day. I didn't have to like the people there, and they didn't have to like me, but I could at least look decent. The situation itself wasn't great, but I could get through this; I've seen way worse. What hurts now is not being with Dally, and the thought that he might be found guilty, and that there was nothing I would be able to do for him. Tears welled up in my eyes as I lay in the stiff bed, looking out the window next to me.

Outside, the stars spread across the dark sky. I remembered watching these same stars with Ponyboy, how we talked all night. This night I could not drift off to sleep, that was for when you were at peace. And I could not pass out in fatigue, I was not tired, physically at least. I was tired of complications, obstacles, getting in the way of what I wanted. I wanted Dally, so badly. There was always something to prevent that. Maybe it was just one thing, is fate really this unkind? It took probably two to three hours to go to sleep that night, but I finally did. And the restlessness did not stop there.

My dreams were mixtures of feelings. First, I felt hate, and then love, and then fear. Then, the worst of all, I felt loneliness. No one was there, it was just me. I wasn't anywhere in particular, just somewhere, or nowhere. I didn't know where Dally or Ponyboy where, I didn't know where anybody was. It was pure silence, even I didn't make a sound. My tears were soundless, and that made it all the more painful. It felt as if this time, the jig was up. There wouldn't be anybody to save me anymore, I had been fighting fate for too long. I hate cheated death too many times, and my good fortune was catching up to me. I awoke with a start. It was still dark out, probably early morning by now. The thoughts of my dreams still echoed in my head. Was I meant to die?

It was an uneasy night, but I got through it. I made myself get up in the morning, anything to get out of this house. I dressed and did my hair and make up, the policemen had packed those too. I walked out to the kitchen, where Mr. Frost informed me that he would drop me off at the school on his way to work. I didn't say anything as I slowly forced myself to swallow the cereal provided to me; it tasted of cardboard. He called me and I got up, we exited the front door and walked outside. His car was decent-sized, a red Ford.

The ride too was quiet, and he pulled up to a large building that said in large letters KINGFISHER HIGH SCHOOL on the front. I sighed and got out of the car. He drove away quickly. I had no idea where to go, so I walked in the front door, like everyone else was doing. Somehow I found my way to the front office, and told them who I was. They said the woman I met at the court had called and arranged for me to go here, so I was expected. The secretary handed me a backpack, supplies, and textbooks and notebooks.

The foster agency had paid for them, she said; some government thing. I packed up the things and took a look at the schedule she had given me. I had homeroom now, with a Mr. Lowe, she told me how to get there. I entered the classroom with my head practically buried in the schedule paper.

I looked up and went up to the teacher, "Um...Hi, I'm Dana. I'm new here." I said awkwardly.

He smiled stiffly and told me to sit down at a desk. I looked and went to the first available seat I saw, right next to the window. Once I sat down, the whole class seemed to be trying to figure me out. I could feel them glancing quickly at me and then turning away, afraid I would catch them. The bell rang and everyone stood up, noisily talking, and made their way out of the room.

"Hey, I can show you around." A voice behind me said. I turned to see a boy looking at me cockily, wearing khaki pants and a sweater.

"Um, no thanks." I said. I didn't want to hang with his type, I was done with the Chris' and Bills of the world.

I turned back around and made my way out of the room, out into the hallway. It was so crowded, and I tried to find my way to first period english with Mrs. Howell. I saw a classroom door that said "11th Grade English" on it and walked inside. The woman, Mrs. Howell, seemed nice.

"Come on in, dear." She said kindly to me. "Now, class, this is Dana. She's new here, and she'll probably need some help getting around." She said, then gestured for me to sit at a desk.

I took the desk near the window again, and searched my backpack for my English books. "Now, class." She said, beginning the lesson.

"You should be on Act 11 of Romeo & Juliet by now. I want everybody to get into groups of five and discuss what you have read."

I perked up when I heard her say Romeo & Juliet, I knew it by the back of my hand. Anxiety overcame me as everyone searched for a group to be in. I, the loser new kid, would probably end up with no group at all. Just as I thought this, a kind voice rose above the others.

"Hey, you can be with us." It said.

The voice belonged to a sweet-looking girl, smiling brightly at me.

I shyly smiled back, "Thanks." I said quietly.

I walked over to where her group was, and sat down with them at the desks. They all looked like popular girls, but not the kind I was used to. I looked around the classroom as the girls talked and realized something. I didn't see one greaser or Soc. Sure, maybe a few kids who looked hardcore, but definitely not hoods. The girls I was sitting with dressed nicely, but not all preppy like my friends did; like I did. It was a nice change, to be honest. Imagine, there was a world without greasers and Socs!

It was beyond me, but here was a new social climate to explore. It interested me, and I was glad to find one positive thing about this place.

"So- where're you from?" One girl asked me. She had a short, cute brown bob that bounced a little when she talked.

"Tulsa." I answered.

"Oh, never heard of it." She said.

I just shrugged. "Well, what's it like there?" Another girl asked. This one had long, blonde hair that was thin and straight. Her eyes were an all-American blue.

"Well, not like here from what I can tell." I told them.

They looked interested in my statement, but didn't press me for more. The rest of the day went by pretty uneventfully. I sat with those girls at lunch, they seemed nice. When the last bell rang I realized that I didn't know how I was getting back to the Frost's house.

* * *

As I walked out of the school building I saw Mrs. Frost, sitting in a car at the front of the line. I slowly approached it and got inside. She pulled away from the school quickly, I could tell she didn't like kids much. Well, it seemed like she really just didn't like people in general. She pulled up to her house, and stopped the car in the driveway. Mr. Frost hadn't gotten back from work yet. I got out of the car and slowly followed her inside, I was far from eager to enter that house. Once we did, my spirits seemed to sink a little bit.

The depressing atmosphere did nothing for my already somber mood. I went to the room I slept in and did my homework on the bed- there was no desk. An hour or so later, I finished, and sat there with nothing to do. Bored, I got up and showered. I was used to taking quick showers. Living in a house with a bunch of guys teaches with you to do that. Stay in the shower for longer than ten minutes and they think you're taking an hour. I also didn't want to waste their water bill, money was always low there.

Once I got out, all wet and fresh, I changed into lounging clothes. Soon after I was called to dinner. Again, they ignored me. I ate slowly, not really enjoying it; everything tasted bland to me now. We finished eating, and the woman volunteered me to clean up and wash the dishes. I didn't complain, I did that a lot at the Curtis house, and it gave me something to do. I wiped off their table and used a rag to clean all of the plates, slowly. I wasn't in any rush for anything. All I had in front of me was another bad night, and a dreary day of school.

The next two weeks went by, slowly and painfully. But I got through them, and I could at least be grateful for that. They were careful not to leave me alone at the house too often, they probably thought I'd steal something. One night they finally went out, to dinner with some friends or something, and I used the opportunity to call Ponyboy. The phone was answered quickly and Sodapop's charismatic voice echoed through the receiver in my hands.

"Hey, who's this?" He asked casually.

"Hey, it's Dana. How's everything?" I asked.

"Oh, hey! Yeah, everything's doin' ok around here...ya know."

"Is Dally ok?" I asked desperately. There were a few moments of silence, I broke them bursting out "What happened?"

"Oh...uh, well, the court date's set."

"When?"

"Tomorrow." He said bleakly, the enthusiasm draining from his tone.

"What? No, what time? I can try to get there."

"It's at 6 o'clock. How're you gonna get here, you're in some home right?" I sighed, "Yeah, but I can get away, it's saturday tomorrow. When they're sleeping, I'll catch a bus to Tulsa. I'm the only one who can testify, unless he got the people who were there that night?" I asked hopefully.

I could hear the emptiness in his energy, "Nope. I guess you are the only one who can say you were there. But the rest of us are gonna try to help and all. What time do ya think you can get here?" He asked.

Just then I heard someone yelling in the background, "Hey, who ya talkin' to Soda?"

I heard Sodapop shuffle a little bit and mumble, "Nuthin', man, nobody."

"Is that Dana? What do ya mean 'what time can ya get here'? Put her on the phone, now." Darry's voice said commandingly.

I heard Sodapop sigh and reluctantly hand over the phone. I heard Darry heave a large breath into the phone, and then he began to speak to me.

"Dana...I don't know what you're planning but just stop it, you'll get in a lot of trouble for running away from those foster parents." He said slowly.

"No, but they don't care about me, really! They don't give a hang where I am. I'll get back the next day, I'll make up some excuse or something. I need to testify for Dallas, I can help him, I really can Darry." I begged.

He sighed and slowly started, "Well...it's dangerous. I don't think you should do it, but Dally needs all the help he can get..."

"Why? How is he?" My voice rose.

"He's...in jail, I don't know. We can't see him much, but when we do he's pretty chill. I think it's not jail he minds, it's just not being with us...with you. He's been asking about you. A lot." He said finally.

"Did you tell him what I told you to?" I asked.

"Yeah, I told him. Seemed happy 'bought that. Listen, how're you gonna get here?" Darry asked me.

I paused, then answered. "The next bus to Tulsa is at 5:30 tomorrow morning, I've been checking the schedules for a while. I can probably get there at about 12:30 or so."

He thought this over, "Ok, we'll pick you up from there. Don't get caught." He said.

"I won't." I promised.

We hung up and I was left elated with the idea of finally leaving this house, for a short time anyway. It didn't matter the trouble I'd get into after this, Dally needed my help. I could prove he killed my dad in self defense. I went back to the room I slept in, it was about 11:30 now, early. I wanted to get all the sleep I could before waking up so early to get on the bus.

* * *

Before I got into bed I packed a small suitcase with some clothes and stuff like that. I grabbed my purse and stuffed it in there too, I had about $75 in cash. It was hard to go to sleep with all that energy buzzing around me, but I eventually managed to.

Light peaked through the window, which I had left open for that reason. I groaned and silently got out of bed. My back hurt from practically sleeping on concrete for the past two weeks. I stretched and got dressed. I picked up my suitcase and quietly exited the house. The Frost's were still asleep, tired after a long night out. I was grateful for that. The sun had just began to rise when I walked along their neighborhood road, there was a bus stop about two blocks down. I had about five minutes before the bus came, so I walked with a quickened pace.

Soon enough, I got there. A few seconds later the empty bus pulled up to me. I got in and dispensed my money to the driver, who smiled and nodded at me. I smiled back, and made my way towards a seat. I flopped down and rested my head back against the window. I turned so I was profiled along the window, and saw the run steadily rise. It was nice. I could tell today would be a rainy one, the whole north side of Oklahoma had been getting real heavy rain lately. I kind of liked it, it made me feel small and whole. So the clouds beautifully littered around the sun. They were gray and contrasted with the bold colors of the sunrise. The sky faded from a rich pink to a light pastel, the sun kissed with gold shine.

The bus rode steadily on, to it's destination in Tulsa. It would be about six hours before I got there, I had a lot of time to waste. But in that moment I just stopped and stared at that sunrise. It was one of the many symbols of hope we had, one constant. A day could go horribly, and the night could be dark, yet there will always be a sunrise, whether or not you see it. The sun had to climb up the sky to reach the top, it's daily struggle. But once it gets there it shines brilliantly, displaying its pride for all to see.


	18. Go

I was alone on that bus for the first hour or so, and then another passenger entered. He looked like he was homeless, probably a druggie too. He was maybe in his late 30's or 40's, maybe younger. I've seen drugs age people before. His hair was already beginning to gray, and it hung like strings around his head. He seemed to be mumbling, I tried not to stare at him. Once he sat down, he rocked back and fourth, trembling. It was so sad, I swear I could've cried. This man before me had parents at one point, someone had birthed him.

At one point he was a beautiful, soft baby. Someone had raised him, or maybe no one had. Maybe that was why he appeared like this in front of me. The driver seemed unfazed, he'd probably seen plenty of "crazies" before in her career.

Imagine all the people you'd meet and see as a bus driver. Suddenly, the man got up and started pacing up and down the aisle. We were still driving, so I turned to the driver. She didn't even glance back as she loudly told the man, "Sit back down, sir." His muttering got louder and without warning he swooped down upon me.

His frail hands held my shoulders as his buzzed eyes looked into mine with a crazed look. "LOVE IS NOT REAL!" He shouted in my face. I was taken back, and withdrew from his presence. "IF IT WAS I'D BE SOMEONE. I LOVED, I'VE LOVED!" He cried out to the bus ceiling. He broke down in tearless sobs, curled up on the floor.

I didn't know what to do, but apparently the driver did. She stopped the bus and opened the door,

"Please exit, sir, or I will have to call the cops."

His weeps grew as he crawled out of the bus. He curled up on the street curb. As the bus pulled away, he looked up at me. I saw pain in his eyes I knew I'd never be able to understand. I had never known someone could hurt to that extent. He seemed like he'd given up, he had nothing to live for anymore. But he once did. I held my hand to my face and wept silently. He'd loved. Someone had hurt him. I wish I could at least pray or hope for him to turn out all right, but I knew he wouldn't.

He knew he wouldn't. It seemed like everyone else knew he wouldn't, but that didn't matter. When you give up on yourself, you can't do anything else but fall. I guess maybe that's why Dally and I worked. There were points where each of us had given up on ourselves, but the other had enough faith for the both of us. He always told me he'd look after me, I'd promised him I'd never leave him. Sadness crept into me as I realized my promise had been broken, all too many times. But I was coming back now, at least for a little while.

* * *

Throughout the bus ride I was so bored, I fell in and out of sleep. I didn't mind, it gave me something to do. I didn't dream about much, just little things and all that. The weather had worsened, and it was a rich, dark gray outside. Rain had not yet fallen, but I could smell it in the air through the open windows. The driver announced to me that we were about an hour away from Tulsa. My heartbeat quickened with excitement, I was going to see all of them so soon! I stayed on the edge of my seat, tapping my foot. I could tell the driver was annoyed with my over enthusiasm. The bus seemed to be going even slower as my destination neared. I couldn't help but grin, I was going to see them!

Only did my happiness fade when I remembered the conditions under which I had come. Dally. I was here for Dally. I would always be there for Dally, even if I couldn't physically be there, I would always be there. Finally, and slowly, the bus pulled up to the stop. I leapt up and brightly said "Thank you!" to the driver, who just frowned and looked the other way.

I stepped lightly out of the bus, holding my suitcase. I looked up to see Ponyboy standing there, beaming at me. Despite myself, I ran to him, and we embraced in a tight hug. I dug my eyes into his shoulder, and he did the same with me. We had missed each other so much, it was hard to be without Ponyboy. Like I've said before, once you meet him it's hard to let him go. Ultimately, we broke apart.

We just smiled at each other and didn't say a word.

"How ya been?" He finally asked.

"Good, now that I'm here." I grinned back.

We turned and made out way to his house, where he told me all the guys (except Dally, of course) were.

"We're all gettin' ready for the court meetin' n' all. We're gonna try to tell them as much as we can, but we weren't there so we can't say much that'll be taken seriously." I nodded as he spoke, "Ok. I'll do my best to say what happened. It was self-defense, that can't be overlooked."

Ponyboy shook his head, "You'd be surprised at what's overlooked by these people. If Dally's a greaser, they'll give him a hard time. Especially because he killed a police officer and all. It's gonna be real hard to win this one." He said sadly.

"Don't say that Ponyboy, we've always got a chance. We've got a big chance. Dally's not gonna end up in jail, he's not." I said finally.

He didn't say anything, but there was skepticism in his silence. I let it roll off me, ignoring him. We rounded the corner and walked up the street to his house.

"So how is everybody?" I asked.

"Same as you left. It's been kinda weird without you and all. What's that house you're at like?" He asked.

But I didn't get my chance to answer because we entered his house and I was attacked by all of them with hugs. I laughed and hugged back. We all broke apart, and they seemed happy but on edge about something; Dally's court hearing.

"How much time until..." I trailed off.

""Bout half hour 'til it starts, we better head over soon though, impressions and all." Darry answered.

I nodded and went to the bathroom, it was better to show up looking decent. I brushed my hair so it looked nice and straight, I adjusted my make up and all. I couldn't smile as I looked at the reflection, but I suppose I looked decent enough. We made our long, slow walk to the courthouse. We wanted to get there, but did not rush the journey. The outcome of what would happen in the next hour of our lives was uncertain.

* * *

We could lose someone, or we could get someone back. But we would fight, we would all fight for Dally. The building got bigger and bigger as we approached it. Next to its brick stature was the police station. I could not help but build a lump in my throat as I thought of the memories there. Ponyboy sensed my ache and put his arm around me in comfort. I could not muster a smile in appreciation, but he knew it helped. He always knew what to do or say.

We all walked inside the building, soundless. Footsteps were the only sounds I heard in the lifeless halls of the building. Darry got the information from a person at the desk on where to go. We followed him, our heads facing the ground. He led us into a courtroom, where the judge was already seated. He nodded to us and we sat in the benches. One man, a lawyer, sat at a table inside the court area. I think he was the prosecutor.

A bang interrupted my thoughts, and made me jump a bit. I glanced upward to see that the judge had hit his gavel, and then announced, "The court is now in order. Will the officers please bring forward the defendant."

A door to the side of the judge opened, and first a policeman entered. Behind him was Dally, handcuffed. I gasped. I knew he hated it, being bound. He had heard me and looked up. He saw all of us but he looks at me with a sense of hope and joy. His mouth fell open a little, like he wanted to say something, but he was pushed forward and lost focus. He walked to the opposite table and slumped down in the chair.

"What is the purpose of the meeting for which we are here today?" The judge asked.

The prosecutor stood up and announced cockily, "My client and I are here to prosecute Mr. Dallas Winston under the terms of murder and possession of a weapon."

I sunk a little, those were really serious crimes. If Dallas was convicted guilty...No, that wouldn't happen. It wouldn't. The defendant for Dally stood up and said, "My client and I are here to prove that his actions were based on self-defense." He sat back down, the judge nodded at both of them.

First, the prosecutor asked Dallas to come up to the stand. Dally stood and was led by the two police officers to the stand. He lazily swore on the bible, and sat down at the chair.

"Can you tell us why you were even involved in this incident?" The man started off.

Dally sighed and said, "The guy was gonna kill her, he was killin' her, and I stopped him. That's what happened."

"And what is your relation with this 'girl' you say?" The man asked, keeping a blank face.

"My girlfriend. Her dad was a drunk." Dally said emptily.

"Can you support that fact, that he was an alcoholic?" The judge asked.

"Yes." Dally said, "She's here. She's got scars from him, she'll tell ya."

I stood up, and the judge invited me to come into the court area.

Dally went back to his seat, as we passed each other I grabbed his hand for a moment, and then let go as I walked pass. He kept his mouth closed, and glanced toward the guys, sitting in the benches on edge. I sat down and swore on the bible. "What is your relation to Mr. Dallas Winston?" The man asked.

"He's my boyfriend." He didn't feel like it though, but I guess that was the superficial way to classify what we were. Boyfriend didn't cover half of it.

"And why was he involved in this incident?" The man asked emptily.

I began to wonder if he, the prosecutor, had ever even loved anyone or anything. It seemed like what he was doing was an action of the heartless. "My father, who was an alcoholic, was sent to jail. I visited him and he told me he would kill Dallas and I. So I ran away, hoping he wouldn't find me." Well, most of that was the truth. Sorry, Jesus.

"My father was released from jail a short time after, and found me. Dally had found me also, as my father was beating me. Dally used my fathers gun to kill him, to protect me and himself." I said.

"So you're saying it was not his gun? That your father was the intended murderer?" The man asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"And how are the scars Mr. Winston referred to relevant to this case?" He questioned.

"They were a result of my father's violence when he was drunk. The most recent ones are from the night he was killed, under self-defense." I said, trying to avoid the flashbacks to that night.

"So you're saying that he regularly abused you?" He asked.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dally tensing up. All of them were, actually. "Yes, I am."

"Okay, I think I'm done here." The prosecutor said.

I almost smiled, he'd asked all the questions that proved Dally's innocence. Our chances had increased. I stepped down from the stand and went back to sit with Ponyboy at the benches. We held each others hands tightly, in fear and hope. From there Darry, Ponyboy, and Two-Bit were called forward. They said pretty much what I said, that it was all self-defense and how my dad was an alcoholic. I kept a straight face through it.

The judge called for a break, after which he would announce the final verdict. Dallas was taken back through the door with the policemen. We didn't bother to get up. Nobody, not even Sodapop or Two-Bit said anything.

* * *

Some of us just stared off into the distance, some bowed their heads. I noticed that Darry had his eyes closed and seemed to be whispering to himself. Prayers, maybe, or hope. It reminded me a little of the man on the bus today. I forced myself not to think of his face.

Ponyboy still held my hand, even tighter now as the end to our terror was coming. No one could look at each other, in a glance all hope could be lost. We held on to our silent prayers, begging for peace. I thought of Dally, sitting in that room. There were two policemen, but I knew he felt alone. At this point there were three options: life sentence, death penalty, or freedom.

We had a one out of three chances. And that was just enough to give us hope. Our fears increased as Dally was led back into the room. His face remained blank, he did not look at us. He seemed to be lost. Shortly after the judge entered, his face also revealed nothing. He sat at his chair and turned to us.

Everything seemed to slow down, too slowly, as he hit the gavel against the table. "The court has decided...that Mr. Dallas Winston...accused of manslaughter and possession of weapon...who has argued self-defense..." His words were slow and elongated, if you looked at him close enough he seemed to almost be enjoying our misery. "The court finds Dallas Winston...innocent on all charges."

All the gang members leapt up and cheered. I could not. I let out a breath and fell a little forward in my seat. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dallas being released from the handcuffs. I looked up just in time to see him turn around and look longingly at me. I did not smile but something, not happiness, escaped me. Maybe it was the feeling of hope being set free, I guess we call it love.

We ran to each other and embraced. We held each other tightly, not daring to let go. My head was pressed softly against his chest, it felt as if it belonged there. His hand gently held my head against his chest. I looked up into his eyes, he looked down unto mine. I couldn't describe the look we gave to each other, no adjective could. I tilted my head upwards and his lips met mine. I had missed his soft kisses. The dark brown eyes that led to his soul bore unto me.

We knew then that we were no longer two separate people, but had become one being. The guys couldn't wait any longer, and they ran to us and everyone hugged. Funny to think of these hard-core guys smiling and hugging, but it wasn't really. They used to be greasers to me, now they were the kindest people I knew. For a few moments in my life, everything was perfect. I always knew that perfect things are always infected with imperfection, but I was too happy to remember. Unfortunately I got my reminder.

The hug broke apart, but everyone was smiling. I saw something out of the corner of my eye and glanced up quickly, the judge was looking at me scrutinizingly. He recognized me as the girl who got put in the foster home, I knew it. He walked out to the hallway, and I saw him turn, he was going in the direction of the foster woman's office. My blood ran cold and I turned to Dallas.

In the midst of the chaos, I whispered to him, "They recognized me, I've got to go. Meet me in the forest." He jerk-nodded, playing it cool, and I ran.

* * *

I didn't even look to see if the judge had found the woman or not, I didn't have time. I bolted down the streets, things passing like blurs. Out of breath, I ran until I reached the edge of the trees. I stopped right outside of them, in the vacant lot, and caught my breath. As soon as I was able to muster up air, I ran again deep into the forest.

There, I leaned against the tree, waiting. Maybe it was an overreaction, maybe. But maybe it wasn't. I saw the judge look at me, as if he recognized my face. I couldn't be taken away again, I just couldn't. I don't know how long I waited in the forest, but it felt like too long. Soon enough I heard footsteps running, I knew they were Dally's. He ran up to me, smiling. I could not help but smile back.

Once again, I ran to him, and his arms were thrown around me. I cried softly into his chest, I had him again. But for how long now? Would there never be an end to the chase, the catch? Would one of us always have to rescue the other?

I didn't know, but I hoped not. All that mattered now was that he and I were together for the time we had. His hands cupped my face and I looked up at him. His eyes seemed a little teary too; Dallas never cries. Not from what I've seen, at least.

"Don't...don't cry, it's okay now." He said softly to me.

I broke my face and smiled, "That's my line."

He smiled with his mouth closed, and kissed my forehead, "And now it's true." I smiled, and knew it was.

Our moment was broken by the sound of sirens, a sound I had heard too many times. They came closer and closer, and we looked at each other. I could tell I looked fearful, he looked unafraid. Almost looking forward to the challenge. He grabbed my hand, and we ran in the opposite direction. We ran for probably ten minutes through the forest, and then came to a back clearing. He led me through an alley way; neither of us said a word. I slinked behind him, and we stopped just short of a beat-up looking building.

"Tim." Was all he said, facing the building, still holding my hand. I didn't ask who Tim was, I would find out soon enough.

He waited a few moments, the sirens still echoed through the town, and then darted with me across the street. He knocked quickly and quietly on the heavy wood door.

"Who's this?" A heavy voice said from the other side.

"It's me, man." Dallas said to the door.

The door creakily opened, revealing a sturdy-looking guy in his mid-twenties or so. We entered quickly.

"Ol' Dallas Winston-how'd that court thing go?"

"Man, breezed through it." Dallas said casually.

This guy was obviously a hard-core greaser, and Dallas knew what role to play. Or maybe just what to say.

"'Right. So what you here for?"

"Look man, my girl and I here- we're in some trouble, you dig? We need a hideout 'til tomorrow morning, then we're outta here." Tim sighed and said, "Alright, yeah, man. You know where to go."

Dallas nodded, and finished saying, "Look, man, if the fuzz come around, you don't know me."

"Man, I never know you when the fuzz come around." They both cracked smiles.

The sirens came close, and Dallas ran upstairs, me close behind. I followed him into a room, where he lifted a trapdoor from the floorboards. Rather genius, really.

"Come on," He said, and held out his hand to me.

I took and and stepped down into the small area, he followed behind, shutting the door. "When they come to the door, don't say a word." He said.

I nodded, and we squished against each other. The area was pretty small, not that I minded much. As we sat there I began to wonder when he had been here before. I would ask him that later. Then we heard heavy knocking at the door, and Tim's loud steps to the door. We couldn't hear any movement for a few minutes.

Then the footsteps started up the stairs, I tightened my grip on Dally's hand. The police entered the room we were in, and suddenly they were directly above us. I could not help but staring up in wonder, they hadn't noticed. Dally was just staring at the ground, seemingly bored.

"That girl-she the old sheriff's daughter right?" A voice gruffly asked.

"Yeah, ya hear that whole story?"

"Yup, everyone has. She ran off with that Winston boy, the one at court today. Ol' Judge Ben said she testified at the court, didn't notice 'til it was over."

"Old man's blind as a bat..." They left the room and the rest of their conversation was muffled to us.

We waited, waited until they finally left. "Thanks, and if ya see 'em be sure to let us know." The policeman said to Tim as he left, Tim didn't say anything as he slammed the door behind them.

Dally slowly opened the door, and we protruded from the floor. "Where are we going?" The thought suddenly dawned on me.

"Away from here." He answered. That was enough to me.

"What about the rest of the guys?" I asked.

Dally turned to me, "I'll leave Tim a message for them, from there we'll contact them whenever we get the chance."

I didn't want to leave them, not too soon, but I went along with it. Tim didn't bother coming back upstairs, I thought I heard him leave soon after. Probably to go out drinking or something. Dally and I just laid down on the single bed in the room we were in. Half of my body was lying on top of him, our legs intertwined. It was heaven, and tonight I drifted off to sleep in peace, like it should be.


	19. Forward

Someone shaking my body lightly awoke my dreams. I opened my eyes, and Dally was lying next to me.

"We gotta go." He said, getting up. I didn't think about how tired I was, but stood up.

"We're takin' the train to Texas. From there we're goin' to Arizona, from there Colorado." I would've followed him off the Niagara Falls if that's where he said we were going.

Before we left, he scribbled down a note for Tim, and left it on the table downstairs. With that done, we took off again. At the train tracks, we had to run while the conductor and workers were looking the other way.

Once on a cart, we settled back into a corner and waited until it started rolling. When it did, little streaks of light darted in and out of the cart door's opening. Dallas didn't notice, he had fallen back asleep. I don't think he slept much in jail, he looked unhealthy. Maybe a bit thinner, and definitely fatigued. His eyes had dark rings under them. When his eyes were open, they looked about to close. I let him sleep, and soon enough I did too.

All I remember about waking up was that I was still asleep. He held me hand and we leapt from the moving train. Even as I hit the ground with a thud, I still wanted to curl up right were I was and go to sleep. But we had to run, so we ran. Only there wasn't as much rush now, the police still probably didn't know where we were. So we walked now, I didn't know where.

"What happened after they took you?" Dally asked. We were walking along a road, a car passed by occasionally but not very often. There was a chill out in the early morning.

"They sent me to this foster family. It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. I'm sorry you they took you, jail's gotta be hard." I said, attempting to empathize with him.

He scoffed a little, "You don't even know."

"Then tell me." I stated. He turned to me, as if checking to see whether I was serious or not.

When he saw that I was, he started. "Picture sitting in a crowded room and feeling completely alone. That's how everyone feels in jail; alone. They're all afraid, but they act tough 'cause it's all they know."

"That's awful."

"It is, but it's worse 'cause you know you're missing out on real life. You're stuck in a place that's frozen in time, people who committed crimes twenty years ago are still there. You look out the window and see that people are living, that life is going on without you."

"My life stopped the moment they took you." I boldly admitted. He didn't say anything, but it was a peaceful, nice silence.

We walked probably most of the day, and were both a little tired by the end of it. Afternoon had sunk in by the time we stopped for food. He seemed starved, so we went to a Dairy Queen. We ate quickly, and then exited the restaurant. I saw a pay phone and we both thought the same thing; call the gang.

He dialed their number and started talking, "Hey man, it's Dal...Yeah, she's with me...We're fine, man...Yeah, Texas Now. We'll be in Arizona by tomorrow. Then Colorado...How hard they searchin'?...Jeez, man, they want her...Yeah, here she is." He handed the phone to me.

I took it and asked, "Hello?"

Darry's tough voice echoed through the receiver as he spoke to me, "Hey, are you guys alright?"

"Yeah, we're just fine."

"That's good. Listen, the cops are searchin' real hard for you; good idea gettin' outta there so soon."

"Um-hum." I mumbled.

"Look-when are you guys gonna stop running? An' I just don't mean from this chase. You're both always on the run from something, or hiding from it." He said.

I sighed, it was the truth I had been long avoiding. "I know. I know but it can't be helped. We'll stop running when nothing's chasing us, how 'bout that?"

I could tell he had cracked a small smile, "Alright, just stay safe."

"Of course." I answered, and we both hung up.

I took one look at Dallas and knew we could run on forever. We were running away, yes, but we were running together. Now, whatever obstacles we faced, we wouldn't face them alone.


End file.
